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Tag Archives: menopause

Pineapple Lace King/Queen Bedspread…

…in progress but turning out gorgeous! Being sick (with pneumonia no shit!) in bed and isolated didn’t just trigger depression and weight loss (20 pounds… scale said 186 and that almost knocked me on my ass again from shock) I started working on this:

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Male Unit Pics …

Male people, that is 100% NOT CUTE!

Stop that! Please! This is what we see when you send them:

 

They do not inspire a woman to send you a picture of her Nani or her Boobies.

It does, however, inspire a woman to delete and block you forever and ever or make her want to order a nice plate of Mountain Oysters with a side of lemon.

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Filter yourself.

That is all.

🙂

Well Now …

… Ooooh, Lord!  The Queen Komaya-Maya Biotch wants to come out and argue with this woman (more likely a kid since I have children who are damn near 30) on Facebook.  I cannot stand rude people.

If you see that there is someone who is HURTING I mean really hurting then the best thing you should do is STFU and sit your ass down. Or like Kendrick Lamar says:

Bitch, sit down! Bitch, BE HUMBLE!

The hurting person was (well, still is) a stay at home wife that has a deployed husband that lost his ENTIRE DAMN mind and had decided it was a good idea to tell her he wants a divorce via messaging. Talk about a cowardly thing to do, what a Hero. Anyway, she is devastated and afraid. She literally feels like she has nothing and no one. She is venting right now. Most grown-ups would understand what is happening. You say you are sorry, you offer to listen, you have empathy, you have sympathy.

YOU DO NOT go and issue a retort line by line telling her about all the things that you have done for her even to the point of informing her how much the boxes cost that you gave to her; so she can pack out her house aloneOh and that you were planning on keeping them for yourself but you felt sorry for her. You do not tag two other “friends” and bring them in on this attack so they can chime in on how upset they also are and how she no longer has any of you as friends because Y’all feel insulted about what she wrote. This part of the military lifestyle I do not miss! It’s almost like a gang mentality.

YOU have your complete family. YOU have your husband. YOU are not alone.

What the hell??? Really?? Every heard: “If you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all?”

This “Mean Girls” attitude is disgusting to me. Now no one can reach this hurt individual, all calls going straight to voicemail and no texts are being answered, she has gone dark.

I hope they all feel great and don’t break their arms patting themselves on their collective Bitch Backs.

Y’all sure told her!

Did empathy and sympathy just stop being a thing all of a sudden or am I truly old now and this is the correct way to act?

For the first time, I am genuinely clutching my pearls.

Damn!

Yarns and Stuff!

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When I started blogging again, I mentioned that I was working 7 days a week and almost 70 hours a week trying to make extra money.  I did this for two years! I discovered something …

This Sabertooth Cougar can’t keep up anymore! The Old Gray Mare ain’t what she used to be for real! I was starting look all of 50, and I haven’t hit 50 yet. 🙁  I was exhausted all the time, and I didn’t have any extra time for myself and my family.  I fulfilled my dream of becoming a homeowner, but I was never home.

Did I mention I was exhausted? All the time?? Ten years ago burning the candle at both ends wasn’t an issue, I could function on very little sleep. Nowadays burning the candle at both ends just burned me out. Rapidly.

The past two years I have been trying different ways to make extra money so I can have something to leave my kids and build a respectable nest egg for my retirement.  I didn’t look ahead years ago to save anything because I thought I would be married until “Death do us part.” Well, no one is dead, but we did part, and I was left with trying to make it on my own. Scary when you come from living in a two income situation to just one. I made the decision to save myself from a relationship that I knew wasn’t healthy, so my mind/sanity was more important than savings.

I signed up to deliver food which isn’t the safest thing to do in New Orleans, and it is hard on your car. I transcribe and do other odd jobs online to make a little extra change.  When I scored a work at home job with Amazon, I thought I had it made until I realized I still wasn’t available and was exhausted because my old ass needs to sleep. So I made the decision to stop burning the candle at both ends and try to find some way to make a passive income.  I needed a way to make a little extra money that wouldn’t put me in an early grave from either getting attacked at night delivering for UberEats or Waitr in New Orleans (lots of sketchy, dark neighborhoods) or being sleep deprived from working 30 extra hours a week with Amazon.

I started crocheting and doing different crafts, and I found it relaxing and fun. I had a hard time finding the yarn that I needed in stock for the projects that I wanted to do.  I came across this website that sells a variety of yarns, threads, and accessories and I fell in love. I had the opportunity to open my own online store to sell the yarn myself.  So now I have Yarns and Stuff. I think I may have found a way to make a little extra money without losing sleep or passing out from exhaustion.  I also added links to different Amazon deals that I personally use and like, I cannot do the hours of an Amazon Customer Service Representative, but I do know what sales are good ones on the site, so I added those links on the side.

Who doesn’t shop at Amazon?? So I added links to the deals that they currently have available and will change them as the deals change. I know I won’t become rich from my links and my yarn shop but if you are planning on buying yarn or going to Amazon help this Old Sabertooth Cougar out and check out my yarn store or click on the Amazon links on the sidebar. 🙂

So yes, I monetized my blog, but I will still just write about random stuff, weight loss, and the Meno-Monster that I am battling with (have been fighting with her for 6 years and counting) daily.

I promise, not gonna be obnoxious about selling anything.  I am happy if you just stop by and read my thoughts and maybe learn something or laugh. If you end up buying something that is good too!

I love you all (so far all 15 people 🙂 ) and please don’t run because you see ads. Just a way to make sure my kids don’t dig a hole and throw me in it when I die or just let the cats eat me.

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Lazy AF Low Carb Turkey Wings!

BEHOLD!  Browned turkey wings in my Foodi! I have a Shark NInja Foodi and PEOPLE … the best of both worlds!  You can air-fry, pressure cook, bake, and roast. I am glad I got this gadget.

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Yes!

I mentioned in an earlier post I am no longer Suzy Homemaker in the kitchen.  When I was married, with a full house (husband and kids to feed) … I was a cooking fool. I even went to Culinary School to hone the skills that I learned from my Grandma and my Mama.  I am now divorced with an adult son who works and a menagerie of pets.  I lost all my kitchen things when I got a divorce, the former husband had moved to his next duty station, and like a fool, I didn’t think ahead to save my kitchen and knife roll, so I had to start my foodie kitchen over again.

Since I am also Broke AF, I didn’t have the motivation to go and buy all of my beautiful tools, so I had to go cheap. Cheap makes a difference in your cooking.  The Ex still has my things, and last I heard he had some young heifer using my tools. Too bad the heifer doesn’t have my talent, so the tools are useless to her.  They like me better anyway. 🙂 My knives are all rusted, and the handles are split from Chucklehead putting them in the dishwasher.

TRAGIC!

Oops! Started a Meno-Moment there, got triggered by the memory of all my gadgets and how they are being mistreated.

This is what you need:

  • Two packages of turkey wings
  • Seasoning (I used Tony Chachere – BOLD)
  • An onion (I used a Vidalia)
  • Celery stalks (I used five since they were skinny)
  • 1 Package of onion soup (for flavor)
  • 1 cup of water/wine/stock

I needed to brown the turkey wings, and since I am just not motivated to stand by the stove browning turkey wings, I have a deep fryer, so I threw them in there. I seasoned the wings really well and put them in the deep fryer for about 10 minutes.  I set the Fryer temp to 365. While the fryer is doing the browning for me, I sliced the onion and celery and threw them in the bottom of the pressure pot. I drained the wings and put them on top of the veggies. Added a packet of onion soup mix and a cup of water.

Set the pressure cooker to Hi (on the Foodi) with 18 minutes.  Once it comes to pressure, let it do its thing. At the end I will let the pressure come down naturally (about 10 minutes) after 10 minutes I will hit the quick release.

That is it!  No cooking for hours in the oven.

I will post a picture of the results.  🙂

Now, to figure out a side.  I’m thinking green beans!

Will be back later …

18 minutes later:

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Falling off the bone and flavorful. Decided on some steamed stirfry veggies. Hope this inspires!

🙂 Need to eat!

Totally worth the money!

If you are interested in getting the Foodi and a cookbook just click on the pictures above and help a Broke Divorcee out! 🙂

Rocky Mountain Oysters …

 

Ummmm … no.

I understand I am from New Orleans and some of the things that I eat most people get the HUZZZZ.

But I draw the line at Prairie Oysters.  They look like balls, you have to peel them before you can prepare them, and they are bull balls.

Cannot get past the “balls” part.

Let’s add that one to the List of Things I will not eat:

  1. BEANS (I. HATE. A. BEAN.) I get hostile, the texture, the texture, the texture.
  2. Hummus
  3. Beets
  4. Liver
  5. Bull Testicles
  6. ANY BUG (Don’t care how packed with protein they are, it’s a bug … unless its crawfish)

My Yuck List is more extensive, but those are the top six.  I am wondering why I have weight to lose since I have so many “OMG! It’s an ABOMINATION!” foods on my list.

Let’s recap:

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Fried looking like a plate of the old bivalve mollusk we all know and love!

The reality! Unpeeled bull testicles and a bonus furry deer nuts (venison testicles).

No, no, no, no, no.

But to each their own … I eat crawfish on purpose.  🙂

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Trying to figure out what to do with some turkey wings I have in the fridge.  They need to be cooked today, but the only way I know is to smother them.

Time for me to work in the lab and create a nice low carb turkey wing dish that also takes little effort. I’m still lazy in the kitchen; getting better but still lazy.

Hot Ones! Gordon Ramsey Episode!

I am absolutely in love with Gordon Ramsey.  🙂 The accent, the talent, the cussing … just rocks my socks!

Here is UK Husband tasting hot wings from Mild to Holy Shit!/WHY?/I-Like-Pain-Not-Food.

It is refreshing to see Gordon as a human and not as a hard ass taskmaster in the kitchen.  You know when the heat is getting to him by the color of his face.

He gives you the perfect burger ingredients and shows how to make the perfect scrambled eggs (sniffing, crying, and coughing the entire time).

Enjoy!

So Emotional!

One word: Menopause.

I am still going through the change right now.  The last five or six years have been horrible.  I go through a period of hot flashes and bitchiness, then I am all weepy.  I am crying from:

  1. Commercials
  2. America’s Got Talent
  3. 90 Day Fiancee
  4. Game Fucking Shows (WHY??) 
  5. Ads that shouldn’t make you cry (AGAIN … WHY?)
  6. The News

I also have mood swings of PMS, but it is worse.  Hot flashes, hungry, MEGA hot flashes, mood swings, cravings.  I’ve lost my waist and seriously think that is not fair.

I have a very low tolerance for human folk, so I am keeping to myself.  Just all around in a pissy mood, so I ate what I consider trash all day.  Chocolate, Chinese food, chips; I’ve been a snacking fool, and none of it tastes good.  I think going through the change has also changed the way I feel about junk food.  I cannot find anything that I really want to eat. Entirely not worth being kicked out of ketosis. Tomorrow will be a fasting day for me, the only thing that seems to hit the spot for me is water and Coke Zero. Just gonna listen to what my body wants and do that all day tomorrow.

Other thoughts:

The Governor with the EXTREMELY inappropriate picture in his college yearbook, yep.

Yesterday he apologized, and today he isn’t sure that was him. He knows damn well that was him and he is probably the one in “blackface.” The Klansman in the picture is probably his date/girlfriend/current wife/friend/jackass with him.  It looks like he was at a costume party.  You remember shit like that, and I think he remembers but now is trying to Jedi mind trick everyone. Why lie? You cannot unring that particular bell, and he really should have known better (and I know he did, just didn’t think it would come back and bite him in the ass).

1985 or not … that shit was still in poor taste/inappropriate/fucked up from the floor up. Just saying, stop lying and take the hits that will continue to come until you leave office.

When did it become okay to lie like a rug these days?  I guess “alternative facts” is a new truth, the truth-truth, not the real truth.  I have gotten so disgusted by everything I have decided that I will watch fluff from now on.  Just cannot take all the intolerance and “alternative facts” being thrown around to suit agendas. Fox News has people on their Network that give me the 1980’s mean girl/jock vibes. Very unpleasant to watch them. AND aren’t they “media” if they are news.  WHY are they referring to other News stations as the “Media”? Jesus, they need to stop with the bullshit.

I’m sitting here binge watching Ghost Adventures rooting for the ghosts and wondering who dresses Zak. 🙂

**OH MY, Zak is trying to choke himself and has this high pitched squealing like a girl. Really dude?  Need to restart this episode because I am totally lost.  They really need to stop dicking around with these EarthBound spirits, they are EarthBound for a reason and for the most part they are sad or dangerous. Not cool. They probably have so many negative attachments with them messing with these Entities. **

Once my ZZZ-Quil kicks in (menopause doesn’t like you to sleep so sometimes you need a little help) I will go and work on my crochet projects.

Lemme see …

I’m just cranky I guess.

Just found a lake of pee from my elderly pug, he managed to pee around his diaper.  I swear that dog is Houdini. 🙂 I can’t be mad at him. He is old and the sweetest pug in the world!

That would be JoJo!  While I’m sharing here is Otis D, Pug:

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Otis D Pug

Rocking the Saints Jersey, looking sad after the Three Blind Refs call.

WE. WERE. ROBBED.

Sleepytime for me, the medicine is kicking in!

Will be fasting tomorrow, need to get back into ketosis.

Later!

 

 

Broke Ass Low Carbing/Lazy AF Low Carbing

If we need to name what it is I am doing that is … ’cause I am both of these things … at the same time. 🙂

I am just not motivated to read another book calling low carb some other name with another spin on eating low carbs and not eating sugar/flour/starchy veggies.

If you stay below 20 grams of carbs you will lose weight because once your carbohydrate stores …

I picture a gingerbread house type place with a bitchy witchy poo sprinkling sugar on everything… with the evil plan of taking my waist and turning up the furnace so I can sweat on every-fucking-thing and making me overly emotional (I was crying over the trainwreck of marriages on 90 Day Fiancee, so beautiful/so dysfunctional! Ahem…lack of carbs I guess or meno-moment) and shaped like Gumby! Sigh …

Sorry, had a Meno-Moment because I did weigh myself this morning …

Back to the Super Sonic Train that is my thought …

… once your carbohydrate stores are depleted then your body will start burning fat for fuel. It just sucks to get to that point. I’ve read you have 2 days of carbohydrates to burn before you enter into fat burning mode. That seems about ight because I know when I am trying to get back to fat burning land I have about two or three days where I want any and everything that is sugar/flour/starch. If they are all three then that is better then all of a sudden I don’t. I guess that is ketosis not to be confused with ketoacidosis which is what happens to diabetics and is very dangerous. It really ticks me off when people confuse the two and claim you are gonna die from not eating bread.

Whatever!

I can say that I will probably die from eating bread while driving home from work. When I overdo the sugar (starch/flour/other bullshit food that’s bad for you) I am literally falling asleep from the sugar crash that is happening while I am in rush hour traffic. So okay, will probably die from not eating some bread to definitely die from the 18 wheeler barrelling into me because it couldn’t stop in time or me just flying off the bridge asleep. Because … sugar, not ketosis!

Ketosis and ketoacidosis are two different things. Please inform and fill yourself up with knowledge instead of bread before you declare death via low carb.

Rambling again, so sorry, have so much to say! (Bi-Meno/Polar-Moment 🙂 )

Broke Ass/Lazy AF Low Carbing is basically a chicken, egg, frozen veggie, salad, hamburger patty diet. I do other things but I don’t have the money to buy all the exotic stuff that people are recommending nor do I have the motivation to look for recipes or cook it. I have been known to eat Vienna Sausages in a pinch. CHECK THE CARB COUNT.

Tuna salad, chicken salad, cheese, eggs, butter, coffee, coconut oil or MCT oil, shrimp, fish, beef, some pork, salads, and veggies (no beets because they are a abomination in my opinion and no corn, peas, or potatoes) NO FAT FREE ANYTHING. They replace the fat with sugar, don’t believe me, check out a full fat item and a low fat item, the low fat is loaded with sugar. Plus you need the fat the keep you full.

Stay your ass away from sugar, starches, flour and drink water. If you MUST drink hard liquor mixed with water, club soda, or diet something (it’s the sugary drinks that get make you drunk faster…35 years of drinking experience here ).

So yeah that is my plan where I tweak it here and there. It works you just have to get past the first couple of days and then the energy will come back along with losing the cravings.

And you will pee. A lot of peeing, with a “I gotta poooooooo!” moment every now and again because of all the vegetables. 🙂

So…

I have procrastinated long enough and really have run my mouth. I have more to talk about because my life is a life of a Menopausal Divorced Woman with two pugs and three cats. I have shit to talk about, for reals!

MY WEIGHT THIS MORNING: 196.0 (without the 15 pound fucking boots) I started this low carb thingy on Tuesday so not bad.

I have to prepare to leave work now, will be back later! I got some crochet things to show y’all and some shit to talk. 🙂

Been Sick!

I’m still here and kicking. I promised I would keep up my writing this year. 🙂

So I decided that it would be great to get really sick with bronchitis, and not the: “oh I hear a rumbling in my chest when I cough” bronchitis, the: “OMG do you have … (the plague? Death? Pneumonia?) Are you dying? OMG stay away from me, you look like shit!” … always followed by “You need to stop smoking!” type of bronchitis.

I was seriously out of the loop with the fatigue, the fever and the cough. It has been about 5 years since I have been really sick like this and always on time I get some really fucked up illness that knocks me on my ass to remind me I am human AND almost 50.

This sabertooth cougar is getting old!

So yeah, sick, missed work, was a cranky bitch for about two weeks but I am back and feel for the most part better. Still coughing up my soul, most people are avoiding me, I’m avoiding most people because LYSOL may kill germs but spraying it on someone with bronchitis is like killing them. I want to cut a Bitch, seriously.

🙂 🙂 🙂

I still nice, just phlegmy.

Anyhoo, you would think I would have a huge WTF weight loss to report! NAH, I’m one of those people that doesn’t have an issue with their appetite. Well it is an issue to me because I don’t lose a damn thing! Just as hearty a appetite as ever so no weight loss. The doctor insisted on weighing me in the middle of the day in full clothes and in goddamn boots so I have my starting weight:

Thursday, January 24th morning: 197 lbs (Shit, gained all my weight back! Curse you Homeowner Fairy!)

Thursday, January 24th doctor office/afternoon/fully clothed with BOOTS: 91 kg/200 lbs and 9 oz. (they really think putting the weight in kilos makes you feel better…IT DON’T! Let me take off my 15 pound boots!)

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot! When did I gain all that damn weight back? I think it started when I decided that I would buy a damn house. I feel like Florida Evans from Good Times:

DAMN.

DAMN.

DAMN.

I hate going to the doctor wearing heavy shit. I would roll up in there wearing the pedicure flip flops and the paper gown every time so I wouldn’t get a blow to my self esteem. If they are going to put the weight in kilos them DO NOT tell me how much that means in pounds. Let me be delusional and believe that I am a delicate little flower, a whiff of a person and not a fucking linebacker/lumberjack.

Hee hee.

Oh, I went off on a tangent there…sorry.

I guess I have some catching up to do. 🙂 I plan on weighing myself tomorrow because I just kind of fell into low carbing again. I’m not calling it anything fancy other than what it is: LOW CARB. Not gonna keto, eat wild, go paleo, whole 30. No weight loss pills, no weight loss surgery even though I have been told I now qualify for lap band … too many labels, too freaking complicated, too dangerous because I don’t wake up well from anesthesia.

Keeping my carbs under 20 grams for now, staying away from all white processed foods (no sugar,no flour,no starch) Gonna drink water, try to cut back on the coffee/Coke Zero (TRY! No guarantees), get a little more sleep AND look through my beach body on demand and see if there is any exercise that I can do that will not result in me collapsing on the floor imitating a dying starfish. Oh and a instructor that isn’t annoying.

Low carb. I did that, kept it simple, lost 60 pounds in 6 months and kept it off for almost 10 years.

Then menopause and Homeownership happened. 🙂

Gonna be 50, let’s see if I my age makes a difference this time!

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