Tag Archives: low carb

Super Fast Shrimp Dish/Instant Coffee Keto Style

Doesn’t that look yummy?  I whipped this one up in 10 minutes but probably would have been quicker if I wasn’t “creating” something to keep my hands out of the cereal box. I will post my successful lab experiment at the end of this post.


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How You Like It Chunky Tuna Salad

Chunky and crunchy and oh so good!



I created this last night after my son decided to get Wendy’s for his meal.  It is tough to resist Wendy’s especially a Triple Baconator, fries, and a Fanta. The tuna salad came out very good, and it also gave me an excuse to use my new egg cooker gadget (IT WORKS WELL, Red Copper Egg Cooker). 

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Blind As A Bat … A SHRINKING Bat!

It was doctor day for me to check on the corneal graft that I received just about two years ago.  The Good Idea Fairy must have visited me in my sleep and whispered, “Stop putting in the prescribed drops in your eyes! You see perfectly in HD, and you have groovy new glasses!”

Sparkly Winged Heifer with a Forked Tongue

Good Idea Fairy is a fairy that shows up at inappropriate times, usually with the idea lightbulb in hand, giving you bright ideas and is as old as time. Don’t believe me? Think about Adam and Eve’s story that resulted in ditching the fig leaves and being kicked out of Eden wandering the wilderness (probably with keratoconus). You do dumb things, and it always ends with the phrase, “It was a good idea at the time.”  Uttering the words as mentioned earlier gives joy to G.I.F. while you are sitting around looking like Boo Boo the Fool.

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New Look…

… to my little space!  I should be Marie Kondo-ing my room right now (I actually started and got distracted…I wonder by what??) by touching items trying to figure out what exactly is giving me joy and what isn’t, then saying “thank you” to the items that sparked “HELL NO” for serving me.

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LOOKA! Fathead Crust Pepperoni Pizza!

I used way too much pepperoni, but this is GOOD!  Finally, I can have pizza and the crust!

Low carb pepperoni pizza. Crust is made out of mozzarella, parmesan and eggs. Taste better than any of the alternatives.

Cooking spray, for pan

4 large eggs 
4 c. shredded mozzarella, divided
1/4 c. freshly grated Parmesan
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1/2 c. pizza sauce
1/4 c. pepperoni
1/4 thinly sliced mushrooms
2 tbsp. thinly sliced black olives
Fresh basil leaves, torn 


Preheat oven to 425°. Grease a small baking sheet with cooking spray. In a medium bowl, stir together eggs, 3 cups mozzarella, and parmesan. Season with salt and pepper, and spread mixture evenly on baking sheet.
Bake until lightly golden, about 12 to 15 minutes. Spread pizza sauce on top of baked crust. Top with remaining 1 cup of mozzarella, pepperoni, mushrooms, and olives.
Bake until cheese is melted and crust is crispy, about 15 minutes more. Sprinkle with basil. Slice and remove from pan while still warm.

I just used pepperoni but you can make any pizza.


Chicken Quesadillas and Cranberry Water …

… all low carb! I don’t think Keto folks will like the quesadillas but the low carb folks will:)!  I am waiting to go and see the endocrinologist at the end of the month to see if my thyroid is acting an ass and causing me to lose slowly or not at all.  In the meantime, I will be eating this way because I do need to detox off the sugar and “trash” foods I have been eating.  I have also noticed that cooking is saving me money!

Yay for saving money!

Here is my chicken quesadilla that I created in my k-lab.  I did this fast because I know that I will be grazing around the kitchen while I am waiting for the food to cook, so I used chicken breast strips (fully prepared)  instead of preparing a raw one.  You can pretty much add any protein to a quesadilla because a quesadilla is basically a Mexican grilled cheese. When I was in the kitchen cooking in Alaska, I would always be amazed at how much people would pay for a tortilla with melted cheese. It takes 10 minutes to make the dish from start to plating. It boggles the mind, but I understand … I have my moments, and  I say to myself, “C’mon! I don’t have all MINUTE!” when it comes to cooking. 🙂

Chicken Quesadilla (Carb Controlled)


MIssion Carb Balance Wheat Flour Tortillas (I used two)


Grilled chicken breast strips (I was lazy and using what I had …You can use a boneless chicken breast instead)


Sharp Cheddar Cheese


Parmesean Cheese (because I like parmesan cheese, you don’t have to use this)


Salsa! Check the carb count! Optional: Sour cream (full fat none of that low fat bull) I didn’t have any which is shocking because I always have sour cream for some strange reason.  I think the sour cream fairy visits me at night and puts it in the refrigerator. I guess the little winged heifer didn’t visit this week. 🙂 

A nice non stick pan and non stick spray.

Heat up the pan and warm the (one at a time) tortillas slightly, it tastes better that way and the tortillas will fold better. Be quick, add the cheese (spread over the tortilla to cover it, the edges will stay closed that way). Add a few chicken strips (I warmed mine in microwave because they were fully cooked. Make sure you cook the breast if you are using a fresh one)  on the cheese and fold over. Press down with you spatula, let it cook for about 3 minutes on one side, flip, let it cook on the other side.  The cheese should be melted, if it isn’t cook until the cheese is melted. Repeat with the second tortilla. 



The results! 

***Okay, my Garde Manger skills are somewhat lacking although I excelled in that class!  I could have wiped the plate better and make the plate prettier but it was getting eaten not showcased.”***

My son is my taster, and he loved it.  This is very filling, I only used two taco sized tortillas, and I just ate one, my son ate the other one. 🙂

There you go! Chicken Quesadillas!

Now on to the Cranberry Water. If you are like me and have been on a diet for almost 40 years (Yes, 40 years! I was even on a diet when I didn’t need to be on one, I was a teenager in the ’80s, and the look was emaciated. Wish the “curvy” girl/”thick” sister movement was back then I wouldn’t have been so hungry)  you have probably tried all kinds of diets.  I happen to come across the Fat Flush Plan by Louise Gittleman.  I think she is on to something and I did have a little success on her plan.  There were some things that I found too restrictive but also found wonderful!  One of them was the Cranwater Recipe. This stuff is the bomb, and I still use it daily. Here is the basic recipe. The Miracle water first thing in the morning calls for the Cranwater and fiber added. It makes you regular (“Out of my way, I gotta pooooooo!” regular!) You drink the “I gotta poo” cranwater once and the rest of the day you drink just the cranwater which will flush out your insides, and you will feel lighter. 🙂 It really is good. The PURE cranberry juice can be found in most stores you have to look at the top shelves. It costs more than the other brand but this is concentrated cranberry juice that HAS to be diluted because it is so tart your face will collapse into itself and hair will sprout on your chest. One bottle will yield a lot of cranwater, trust me.

Miracle Cranberry Water Recipe 


MUST BE ALL CRANBERRY. Not CRANBERRY BLEND with other juices. I’m serious! 



FILTERED WATER (I use distilled because I’m a wierdo and like the way it tastes. Distilled has all impurities removed AND I found out that is what bodybuilders drink)

You can use bottled water, filtered water from your Brita type filter or if you really have to use the municipal water from your tap.  If you look at the source of some bottled water you will be surprised your water isn’t from a babbling brook but from some city’s municipal water supply or from Coca Cola. Go ahead and check! My feeling were HURT so that is why I use distilled or just Brita type filtered tap water. 🙂 If you look the distilled water in my picture it is from a municipal water supply (Mableton, GA’s water)BUT distilled water is made from the steam or some scientificy procedure, yeah or I just paid $1.00 for Mableton, GA’s tap water.  I still like distilled water 😛 so judge me silently if you must!

If you are hardcore stop those are your ingredients. If you are a punk like me you need a little sweetner.

I used 1 1/4 teaspoon of this. Use as many packets as you need to taste. Stevia sweetner is the only sweetner Ms. Gittleman recommends using on her plan so that is why I used Stevia.


In a 2 quart container add 8 oz of the cranberry juice. You may need to shake the bottle first. 

Add 56 oz of filtered water. Add Stevia to taste (use the sweetner you like just NO SUGAR) 

Stir/shake/mix (think grown folks cherry koolaid without the diabetes and the 5 pound bag of sugar added) 

Put in the fridge to chill. 



I added two tablespoons to my first cranwater drink.  I like the clear water soluble fiber because there is no taste. You can add flaxseed but this is easier to find and cheaper. 

Side note: Maybe don’t add two tablespoons in your first drink. That stuff works and I had to poooooo quick. Does it’s job.  The fiber will also fill you. Just stay near a potty if you start off with two tablespoons.  I read you can do this more than once but pooping out my soul once a day is a limit for me. 🙂 

After checking my fridge, I discover a ham. So will be posting my low carb version of a spiral ham. Should be easy, I mean it is a ham!

I’m off today for the Federal Holiday, so I will probably be posting more nonsense throughout the day.

Enjoy the recipes!  I know I did!


Irritated …

… because I went to see a new doctor today.  I just wanted someone closer to my job so it would be convenient for me to get to work afterward.  I don’t think I will be using her as my primary care person.

She was a twat-face. Don’t want a twat-face diagnosing me. Nothing redeeming at all about this heifer … oh wait, she was able to probably … kind of … get me a referral for a sleep study.  So not a complete twat-face but 3/4 twat-face.

My weight is bullshit still, do I really want to post it for all to see? Why the hell not?

The scale at this office said 202.0.


Don’t get it twisted low carb does work, it just doesn’t seem to I be working for me right now. I lost a tremendous amount of weight doing this way of eating, but it was 10 years ago before the Meno-Monster inhabiting my body. I have an endocrinologist appointment and a mammogram scheduled in two weeks so we will see what the heck is going on with me. I will continue to eat low carb until then.

So why irritated??

Well, Dr. Twatface came in and just looked at me. Then asked what brought me there.  I STARTED to tell her because of my weight, the fatigue, the thyroid issues, the falling asleep, etc. (mainly to say to her my body is shitty at the moment, please help).  Well, I STARTED but didn’t get past “my weight” before she interjects, “WE are not a weight loss clinic.”

Sigh. Bitch!

Now, I already knew that the office isn’t a weight loss clinic, so I proceeded to try to tell her I know this and I also know where to go if I wanted to visit a weight loss clinic, Aspen Clinic…

Then Dr. Twatface interjects AGAIN! She says, “YES, we recommend them because they give you Adipex. You (I) should try Adipex.  As long as your blood pressure is within a normal range, it should be okay.”

Once again … BITCH! I am on blood pressure medication for hypertension at the moment. If she had glanced at the monitor or even asked me about it, I would have told her this.

Her bedside manner is severely lacking. So I start again to say to her WHY I am there. I am feeling tired, I am gaining weight, I am unable to sleep through the night (when I do fall asleep), and I fear I may have sleep apnea because I am falling asleep at the most inappropriate times.

So Dr. T-F tells me this, “Well you are not my patient, I don’t know you. You should go to the endocrinologist as scheduled, but I can tell you it is probably your thyroid so you won’t lose any weight until your thyroid is fixed. By the way, you qualify for weight loss surgery (lap band) why don’t you just do that, your insurance will pay for it.” 

I’m fucking stunned.  I am literally at a loss for words, but I did find some and said, “I was told you were taking new patients.  I wanted to change doctors for convenience. If I wanted to get a prescription for Adipex I know where to go, if I wanted to schedule myself for lap band surgery I also know where to go and what to do, I wanted to establish you as a new physician because of the close vicinity your office is to my job. It seems to be an inconvenience to you to listen to why I am here, and for you to glance at my chart to see my history. I will schedule with my prior doctor and get a recommendation for another PCP.”

Now that stops her from talking over me. She finally goes, “Well I can TRY to get you set up for a sleep study …”

Where did this bitch study medicine?????

I THINK I was scheduled for a sleep study since I haven’t heard from the Center yet.  I have already contacted my old doctor for a recommendation and a referral just in case 3/4 Twatface didn’t follow through.  I paid my 25.00 co-pay for … what? Still trying to figure that one out.

It probably is my thyroid screwing everything up, and I am hoping that is what the issue is, but it would have been nice to complete a sentence and not feel judged.



Sausage and Peppers …


Smoked Sausage, onions, and peppers

I am the type of person that will eat whatever I am feeling at the moment for breakfast. I opened the refrigerator and saw the smoked sausage so I started from there:

Smoked Sausage ( I used Manda brand)
One Onion (I used a Vidalia)
One green bell pepper (If I had red, yellow, and orange I would have mixed them. You eat with your eyes first and the more color, the more pleasing, the more you want to eat)
Two Roma Tomatoes (sliced)
Salt (to taste)
Pepper (to taste)
Garlic powder
Parmesan Cheese- Shredded (optional)

Saute the smoked sausage with a small amount of olive oil. (5 min) Then add the rest of the ingredients and saute with the sausage until soft.  (3-5 mins)

I added a little salt and pepper and a pinch of shredded parmesan cheese.

I am full and will probably be full until this evening. Do not be afraid of fat. Fat adds flavor and it keeps you full.  I’m not saying go eat a stick of butter or a bowl of lard but I am saying don’t run around looking for low fat. There is something called Rabbit Starvation and that can occur when you go too low fat while doing low carb.

So here you go Sausage, Onions, and Peppers! Quick and easy!

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