Delivery-Katt Random Thoughts

Side Hustling.

I supplement my income nights delivering as a side gig.  It works for me because it gives me alone time in the car to think. My life has been a hectic mess since May, and this is a way for me to decompress and believe it or not get out of the house. Yes, this is my “hanging out” time; so very sad but my unfortunate truth.  I make it fun by having Club Rob bumping the music in my car.

Delivery-Katt’s Observations.

I have been doing this side gig thing off and on for a few years now.  I feel I have to point out a few teeny details that seem to fly right over people’s heads.  These things piss me (and YES your delivery person) off to no end.  If you order from a platform that shows your order and tip (or lack of tip), then I can assure you the delivery people know you well.

I enjoy doing this for the reasons mentioned earlier, and I am generally in a good mood, but there are times when I literally have to force that customer service out and smile even when it’s through gritted teeth.

Here are the top five:

  1. The delivery fee IS NOT a tip. The drivers do not get the delivery fee.  The fee goes to the platform you are ordering from to cover the overhead. Feigning ignorance about this fact doesn’t fool anyone because every app I use says it in plain English that the fee is NOT A TIP.  NOT. A. TIP. The fee goes to the company, so complaining to the driver about the fee or telling the driver how much you already spent on the fee to justify not tipping makes us side-eye you.
  2. Saying you don’t believe in tipping … Hold up, is tipping a magical thing, like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus? Is it a religion?  I am bringing you food just like a waitress does only I am fighting traffic doing it and adding mileage to my car. Believe this, if the platform pays mileage, then they take 30% of what we make, or they don’t pay mileage at all. I have yet seen a gas supplement either. I’m smart with my distances and still like the solitude but come on! Some people work more than one platform because they are trying to get their bills paid. They are not on the corner with a sign panhandling although I am starting to think these folks make more than most delivery folks do. My thought is this: if you cannot afford the delivery fee then maybe you should go to the restaurant yourself and burn your gas.  Most of us are doing this as a side gig to make extra money, and in case you haven’t noticed gas isn’t cheap.
  3. You are ordering a single item. A slice of cheesecake, a soda, a single solitary cookie, a chef salad with no meat, no cheese, no tomatoes (basically a bowl of lettuce- I had one like that and was stunned. A head of lettuce is cheaper from the grocery than one from the restaurant) and they want it delivered to Bumfuck Egypt. Most platforms now have a vast delivery area or the restaurant sets a 10-15 mile area, and some platforms do not have a minimum order amount. We usually know the tip (if there is one because these are the same people that bitch about the fee being too high) will be nonexistent so that order is generally sitting for a long time before someone is forced to take it. The gas and mileage aren’t worth it.  If the delivery fee is more than what you are ordering, maybe think before submitting.  The platform will get their money, and the restaurant doesn’t care either, and you just paid 8.00 for a soda. A small drink; buy a 12-pack from Walmart… much cheaper.
  4. Physics is a thing.  If you live in Bumfuck Egypt (25-30 minutes away), your hot food will be cold, and your cold or frozen food will be warm or melted.  We have bags, fundamental cheap bags. There is no oven to keep your food hot and no freezer to keep your stuff cold. Just saying… there is no wormhole that I can go through, no warp speed, I do not have a jet. I have a car, and I have to deal with traffic and distance, just like every other person on the road. If you order food during rush hour and there is traffic … yep, it will be late. Still cannot spirit my car and your food there… if I cracked the space-time mystery then I wouldn’t be delivering your cookie.
  5. WE DO NOT PREPARE THE FOOD. Punishing the driver, blaming the driver, yelling at the driver, insulting the driver (saying things like, “This is why you are a delivery driver”… um, Honey I do this part-time. I do have a fulltime job and probably make more than your 6 piece nugget ordering self makes) because of a mistake made by the restaurant makes zero sense.  The bag with the food is given to the driver, and we are not allowed to open it.

There is more, but those are the top five.  I feel better now that I got this off my chest.

Lagniappe… If you live in an apartment complex, the apartment number is helpful. Gated community? The gate code helps or meet by the gate. Live on a dark street? Porch lights help. AND…if you are afraid to leave your own house at night because you live in the hood, what makes you think we want to go there? We ARE NOT allowed to carry weapons which sucks in some parts of New Orleans.  I do however carry Bear Spray from when I lived in Alaska.  I figure if it can stop a bear, it will melt an asshole’s face off that tries to attack me.

Now I am done. 🙂

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