Monthly Archives: July 2011

A post from the past…

But this IS Zee, my kitten. Especially this morning when I had to untangle him from my hair. I believe he thinks I am a Mama Cat so he has to sleep on my head or on my chest. Before the cat removal from my hair this morning…he woke me up earlier by shoving his face literally in my mouth…then started to lick my face. Cat tongues are NOT fun. His kisses feel like I’m getting a micro-dermabrasion each and every time. At least my face is smoother because of it…no need to go to the spa. I have Zee trying to get attention. LOL..
Here’s Cat Haiku:

You never feed me. Perhaps I’ll sleep on your face. That will sure show you.
You must scratch me there!
 Yes, above my tail! Behold, elevator butt.
The rule for today: Touch my tail, I shred your hand. New rule tomorrow.
In deep sleep hear sound cat vomit hairball somewhere will find in morning.
Grace personified. I leap into the window. I meant to do that.
Blur of motion, then — silence, me, a paper bag. What is so funny?
The mighty hunter Returns with gifts of plump birds — your foot just squashed one.
You’re always typing. Well, let’s see you ignore my sitting on your hands.
My small cardboard box. You cannot see me if I can just hide my head.
Terrible battle. I fought for hours. Come and see! What’s a ‘term paper?’
Small brave carnivores Kill pine cones and mosquitoes, Fear vacuum cleaner
I want to be close to you. Can I fit my head inside your armpit?
Wanna go outside. Oh, poop! Help! I got outside! Let me back inside!
Oh no! Big One has been trapped by newspaper! Cat to the rescue!
Humans are so strange. Mine lies still in bed, then screams; My claws are not that sharp

Checking in with my workout…

…yesterday before I decided to be Bad Rob, I did 90 minutes of Ultimate Taebo. There was enough ab work in that particular workout where I didn’t need to pop in another DVD. If I would have decided to throw in the Abs DVD I probably would have been laying on the floor like Patrick Starr…my unique Starfish Pose that I do when I just can’t do anything else. I try to work to muscle failure each time. It does make  a difference in my results when I’m leaning up.
I haven’t really decided if I want to go to a Gym to do weights and cardio. I have weights at home and it is really easy to make the apartment feel hot like the Gym. I just shut off the A/C and go for it. It’s a little harder now because AZ is going through its monsoon season right now so the humidity is killing me. I guess that is why the Starfish Pose is being used more often. 🙂 I feel like I’m exercising in a sauna right now.
Today will be an hour of toning and some cardio. I do realize that me drinking last night will have me sluggish…so I will work with the weights and weighted bar. The one thing that I do not like is what I call Jiggly Puff right before my body decides to catch up with the weight loss. I can’t stand it…but it does happen. Because I’m low carbing it is in the stomach area right now. Ew. In another week my body will stop and it will tighten up and look normal. My waist is getting smaller and my stomach is flattening. Just what I want…I can keep the rest of the curves thank you…just wanna have that stomach go away and behave.
Off to drink more water…
Later ! 🙂


…I need water right now. I’m so thirsty. That is what I get for having a couple of (4) drinks at Ladies Night last night. 🙂 BUT…it was fun. I also stayed up REALLY LATE talking to My Boo. THAT was worth it as well.
So…I know my body will have a temper tantrum because it is dehydrated and tired. I’m hoping it will not be too busy at work today because I am planning on taking a half day. That means REST. In the meantime I will hydrate hydrate hydrate. I have my Crystal Light ready because I hate the way water tastes. If I don’t have a lemon floating in it then I really don’t want any parts of water.  Even though I had a couple (4) drinks last night…I did at least try to stay within the low carb range by ordering Bacardi and Diet Coke. Yes…I KNOW alcohol metabolizes into sugar…it is burned first before the fat…blah blah blah, I have been doing this lifestyle long enough to know that if I must drink…that is a better choice than a Top Shelf Margarita. 🙁 Excuses and whining…yep I’m doing that right now. I know I shouldn’t have drunk last night…but it was done. How do I fix?
Since I’m impersonating a Fitness Guru I do have a couple of solutions. Stuff that has worked for me in the past. The hydrate part is a given…I feel like I have sand flowing through my veins. Gonna eat really clean. Gonna take a nap. AND…I will exercise this evening. My body will not like it but I will be moving the alcohol out of my system.  That is the only solution…move forward. Don’t quit.
I was a Bad Rob…but I had a great time with my Girlfriend.

While I'm Waiting…

…for my supplements (Amino Acids) to kick in I decided update my About Me Page. Yup…new pictures instead of the red x that was showing. “Memoirs of a Simple B***h” is what I should have named this blog. Seriously…but I think the title I have now suits what I write about these days. My Life as I experience it while exercising and impersonating a fitness guru.
So…I decided to try on some clothes that I want to wear for Ladies Night this evening. I was on a mission to find a black skirt and since I can wear Juniors sizes (7-9) I decided to see what kind of cute little outfit I could scoop up. NOW…I am a firm believer of this saying “Just because they make it in your size doesn’t mean you should wear it”...even when it applies to me. The cute little black skirt is just that…little. I didn’t realize it was a belt impersonating a skirt. I don’t care how small I get…I’M NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE in that thing. If I try I fully expect my family to tackle me and call an intervention. Because I’m obviously HIGH if I did try to wear it out. Now maybe…if I was an Old Cougar (in denial) out there on a man picking mission I may consider it, but the 42-year-old sensible part of me was like : “you look like a damn fool” over and over and over again in my head. I like to sit and walk in clothes. IF I decided to sit down at any point …It would not be a good look. Anyway, a 42 year old’s ass cheeks should be fully covered and secured when wearing clothes. At some point…some body parts just need to be put away (no need to scare small children and animals).
The belt/skirt thingy will go to my daughter. She seems to work small items of clothing better than I do. OH…she will be wearing tights or something with it…but she will look great in it. I guess that 23 year age difference is the key. 🙂 I have something more age appropriate to wear…if I get everything done and actually try to go do the Ladies Night thing I will take a picture. A picture of me NOT looking like a damn fool.
The supplements are kicking in…off the exercise.

In The Mood…Turkey Wings Baby! :)

I picked up some at lunch and will leave early just to get them in the oven. Yep…that is how bad I want those wings. 🙂 Here is the recipe: From Low Carb Friends Forum

You don’t have to use all of the following seasoning you can just use salt and pepper or season salt.
6 turkey wings
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 tablespoon salt
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon poultry seasoning
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 cup butter
2 celery ribs, chopped
1/2 medium onion, chopped
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
7 tablespoons flour
6 cups turkey or chicken broth
2 cups milk
1. To make wings: heat oven to 350°; brush wings with vegetable oil and place in a large roasting pan; stir together salt, pepper, garlic powder, poultry seasoning and onion powder in a medium bowl; sprinkle over turkey wings.
2.Bake until browned, 45-60 minutes
3.To make sauce: melt butter in a large heavy saucepan or dutch oven; add celery and onion; cook over medium-low heat until soft but not browned, about 5 minutes; stir in thyme and pepper; cook 1 minute; add flour; cook, stirring constantly, until light brown, about 5 minutes; slowly whisk in broth.
4.Heat liquid to a boil; reduce heat and simmer uncovered 20 minutes.
5.Strain sauce through a sieve and return to the saucepan; slowly whisk in milk and stir constantly until sauce returns to a simmer.
6.Pour sauce over turkey wings; cover and cook until tender, about 1 hour.

This is another reason why I love this way of eating. 🙂
I did the Advanced Get Ripped 1 workout last night. Argh…I swear Billy Blanks can’t count. The whole workout was straight fast cardio. My tail was whupped. I haven’t strayed from my plan or had a drink yet. Like I said…a unflattering picture of yourself does wonders. My wardrobe is getting bigger a great plus in all of this. It is amazing how peace of mind and serenity helps when trying to get fit. I am happier than I have ever been in a long time. 🙂
Today will be my kick ass turkey wings with some sautéed green beans. Exercise will be Ultimate Taebo, followed by more water. I do feel like I’m exercising on the surface of the Sun here. Gotta love the desert.
I’m about to go home…will post my workout after it is done.
If you try out this recipe…ENJOY! 🙂

Shaking My Head…

I have been blogging for a very long time. It was my way to dump all the toxic waste that was my life at the time. My current blog goes back to December 2005 up until present day. I have been reading past posts and I’m amazed at how much crap I put up with in the name of saving my marriage and face. Jesus…I was unhappy. I’m considering deleting all things concerning “The Hero” as he has been dubbed. It is really hard to read some of the things that I wrote…BUT…I could keep it up as a reminder to NEVER let anyone define my worth. I am so glad I took off those rose-colored glasses and really SAW what was being blatantly being done in front of me. I really believed that all of the infidelity  was my fault…I was pathetic, stupid, fat, unworthy…if only I could lose weight and be perfect then he would love me for me. Love our children. Be a father and actually act like a human being and not a snake. From what I read..the only thing that changed were the dates…everything stayed the same. Which leads me to believe  “A leopard doesn’t change his spots…he can paint himself black and say he is a panther…but when the rain comes the leopard reappears.” …is true.  Well it rained a lot during this relationship. When the man uttered the words “I will eventually grow to love you.” I should have RUN,SCURRY,FLEE …far away from him. Sigh…
A teeny tiny itty bitty silver lining of this black cloud…
If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be who I am today. Independent and strong…I can do pretty much anything I set mind on and I don’t tolerate bullshit. Comes from many long lonely nights crying wondering what you have done wrong.  My new thing is : “Don’t piss on my shoe and then tell me it’s raining” 
Yeah…a person will earn my affection these days instead of me just throwing it out there hoping someone will take it.  The biggest mistake I made was marrying a man who I really didn’t consider a friend. Any type of friend at all…my new partner will be my friend as well as my mate. That is the key to a lasting respectful relationship.
NEVER EVER LET ANYONE DEFINE YOUR WORTH. Our worth is priceless. Unfortunately I let that person make me feel worthless…and he treated me as such.
I was so sad…why would I do that to myself? It’s upsetting. I will think over whether or not I will remove the offending posts from my Blog.
Just…shaking my head here. I never thought I was capable of being that simple.

Mmmm…CHICKEN…And Other Random Diet Thoughts!

Whenever I start to eat clean I tend to eat weird things for breakfast. Whatever my body is craving I tend to eat it. I have learned that listening helps me stay on plan. Today I ate baked chicken. YUM. 🙂  For lunch I’m feeling a big old Egg and Tuna Salad. I don’t care what Atkins has to say about veggies…I have never seen a person get fat from eating leafy green vegetables. The “Big Salad” is just so good, and GREAT if you eat it with full fat dressing (fat is your friend…trust me) just stay away from the croutons, crackers, and that crap they call “lite” dressing. It is loaded with sugar because they have to replace the fat with something to make it taste good.  If you notice, after eating a salad loaded with the “bad baby” things you will find yourself sleepy, cranky, and guess what HUNGRY really quickly.  The same thing happens when you scarf down high carbohydrate and sugary foods. You blood sugar is spiked to highest of heavens then you crash. BOOM! So what do you do? You eat another candy bar or drink another soda. In the end…unless you are a long distance runner there is no way your body can process all that extra sugar so it is stored as fat. Usually around your gut. Then you look like a walking apple. LOL …well that was me I don’t know about anyone else. But eating the way I did made me very round, very cranky, very tired.  I was a cranky, tired apple. 🙂
I am not experiencing the headaches this time around associated with low carb. I actually have all kinds of energy…I’m leaning out quickly because this diet is a natural diuretic (no need for water pills at all), so I’m always running to the nearest bathroom. 🙂 The amount of water I am drinking helps as well…so with this my skin is clearing up and my mid section is flattening out. YAY! I don’t count calories or weigh or measure. I just eat my protein, fat, and vegetables until I am full. The miracle of all of that is you get full quickly then you stay full. There is no way to binge on this diet because the protein will fill you up quickly. I have given it a good try but never succeeded…usually the result was I stayed full for the rest of the day. 🙂
My exercise is going well. I did the Advanced Get Ripped 2 DVD with weighted gloves. I added Abs and Glutes Toning. After laying on the floor impersonating a Starfish I was good. If you do decide to embark upon a low carb lifestyle please exercise. The weight will literally fall off you. The fat loss will be in the middle first then everywhere else. I was able to get into a skirt today that I was literally stuck in a couple of months ago. I was eyeing the scissors to cut myself out of (that was not a good look at all) it. The skirt is a size 5 and I believe my body was a size 13…so imagine what that was like. 🙂 Now…I have been exercising and eating clean for awhile…but it is really nice to wear this skirt again. Size 5…a real size 5 not a vanity sized one. Vanity sizes irritate me because they literally lie to you. 🙂 Yay for my new/old skirt. I’m feeling comfortable in my skin again.
Tonight will probably be Advanced Get Ripped 1 and of course Abs and Glutes. I think I will rethink the weighted gloves…my muscles need to rest. 😀 Time to chow down on some lunch…will be back my friends!

My Day…and I Guess I'm an Expert… :)

…so far is going well. I am still feeling the Cardio Sculpt workout from last night. It will definitely be a no weight day for me. Atkins is working as planned. I have zero appetite to the point where I forgot to eat this morning. Making it up with baked chicken and veggies for lunch.  My water intake is on point. Organs feel like they are floating around right now. AND exercise will be Advanced 2 Get Ripped. An hour of pure cardio and toning. I’m motivated and determined to get cut again. All I needed was to see a picture of myself that caused me to cringe. That did it…now the fitness model body is coming back LOL…
Now that is out of the way…had to check in to keep myself accountable. Even if no one reads this blog it helps in a big way.
Yesterday I had a knock down drag out with The Girl. Oh Lawd…the child must be blind and all of her senses (smell being one of them) are out of whack because her room was atrocious! Hoarders atrocious. It’s one thing to watch that show and feel the need to clean…it is another to actually KNOW that there is a room in your house that would qualify for an intervention of sorts. That bad, trust me. I was TRYING to give The Girl the opportunity to come to the realization her room was NOT the ideal setting to sleep or exist. Hell, the cats didn’t even want to stay in there for long periods of time. Terrible.
Anyhoo…being the tactful person that I am I informed The Girl of the Hoarder-Like state of her room. I mentioned shovels, trash bags, homelessness…you know, tactfully getting my point across that her room smelled like a litter box. THANKFULLY my 19-year-old realized that it was a better financial move on her part to just clean her room rather than moving out. I believe she is learning.. 🙂 Good for her…she gets a sugar-free cookie and an A for effort. Speaking through gritted teeth and a raised eyebrow seems to get through to my Special Child of God.
Speaking of “Special” people…I am noticing a trend here at the office with the Soldiers. They seem to forgo getting to know a person…becoming a friend or even DATING before they decide to get married. So far I have had two come to my office,  sit at my desk and lament to me about the terror of their soon to be ex-spouse.  I seem to be talking to myself when I say they are all quick to say that they are in love when they truly do not know the person. IF the total amount of time that you have been with someone (including dating, marriage, and filing for divorce) is less than a year…THAT’S BAD! If you have been married 3 or more times and you are under 25…THAT’S TERRIBLE. Is there something bad about dating. Learning the person? Becoming their friend or better yet BEST friend? Friendship, trust, and communication is needed to have a great relationship. If you don’t have that foundation first…you will ultimately have what I call a “microwave” marriage. I asked one of the Soldiers what color was his soon to be ex’s eye color…what is their zodiac sign…how about middle name…NOTHING. Wow…I always tell them to get to know their friends before they marry them. I hate when they come in and bad mouth their spouses and make them seem like evil incarnate. They aren’t evil…just a stranger that you married because you was in lust…not in love. Sigh…
I will have to ask The Girl what dating means these days. In the meantime I guess I will be filling up the temporary barracks with upset Soldiers. I don’t know when I became an expert on this…but they do come to my desk to vent. Most of them are young like my kids. I listen…and give them my opinion if they ask. I just wish one of them would actually listen to what I tell them. Sometimes us old folks know a thing or two…we have usually been there done that many times.
I have about two hours of work to go before I go and Taebo my tail off… 🙂

Gotta Love Smart Phones…And Other Stuff…

I love my phone and the Android OS! I am able to post from bed. Yay for smart phones. Today was a great day. I’m sticking to my low carbohydrate plan and I’m totally not hungry. Getting in my water by the gallon. The Atkins Plan is also a plan that flushes out all the extra bloat so you actually feel lighter after doing it clean for a few days. Once again Yay! My workout today was Cardio Sculpt and Abs and Glutes. Ow…but a good ow. Taebo is excellent when you use weights. Cardio Sculpt is a great workout. Especially if you are closer to 40. Using weights will add much needed muscle to burn fat faster and to avoid looking drawn up. Tomorrow will be straight cardio… need to let my muscles rest.
I’m relaxed and tired. I should sleep well tonight. Using my journal again is really helpful…plus…exercise is a must. The side effects mentally and physically is so worth at least an hour out of your day.
Later 🙂

Compliments of Taebo…

This Stunt Woman is amazing…:) But the reason I put this up is because this is the scene that goes through my head whenever I am exercising. Oh yeah…I’m strong…I have good form…and I am working my tail off. But to actually think I could use Taebo in any fight makes me crack up. I would need to have music…count out loud and a chair for balance.  🙂 🙂 🙂 I would really have to go “street” if I needed to kick someone’s butt.
I completed my workout…all 90 minutes.  Thank goodness I continued with my exercise even if it wasn’t as much as I wanted. I find that I am seriously not hungry after any form of exercise. I know I have to eat something so a protein shake is in my future. Once I set my mind to something I am like a dog with a bone. Doing 21 days of this straight. It takes about 21 days to form a habit…I need this habit. Off to relax…

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