Resisting the Urge…

…to weigh myself every day.  I have to find a “light” spot on the floor in the apartment anyway.  Anyone who has been on a diet knows what I’m talking about when I say the “light” spot on the floor.  If you take the scale and move it around different places you may weigh different.  Sometimes lighter…sometimes heavier.  So far I believe that I have the gravity of Jupiter in my bathroom.  Everywhere I move the darn scale it reads heavy. Pheh…I gotta find the Moon somewhere in my apartment.  There is no gravity there. 🙂  Just sayin…the sweet spot in the apartment is there I just need to locate it. I know…I know…it is the same as saying “these jeans make me look fat“.  I always say…no…my fat is making me look fat.  The jeans are just around it.  The scale is not weighing heavy…I’m just heavy.  But like a good pair of jeans that make you look skinny there is a spot on the floor somewhere in everyone’s home that has just a little less gravity making you weigh less on the darn scale.  That is my theory…and I’m sticking to it.  I have been on a diet for almost 3 decades.  If I want to go back to the Bronze Age with the Physics part of weight loss then I will.
 My daughter is turning 18 on May 1st.  The Child believes that once she turns 18 doors will open up for her and money will rain from the sky.  I am going to let her find out on her own that just isn’t the case.  If it were…i would be sitting on the Beach of the island that I owned…with Vin Diesel as my Cabana Boy. The Child will find out soon enough and I will have to be there for her when she falls.
 Last night she decided that she wanted to lose 15 pounds (she is whole 130…how HUGE of her! You do realize my eyes are rolling out of my head) to get back into her 3’s.  She is venturing into 7’s and that is upsetting to her.  Once again I’m rolling my eyes on this one…I am sure people in this office think I’m having an eye problem at this point.  I’m wearing a really stretchy size 7 (not because I’m in denial..but because I can’t afford new clothes) and I just want them to stop hurting me.  I was wearing 4’s and 5’s and thought I was fat.  I just want these damned jeans to stop trying to suffocate me. Now that I’m older and being assaulted by a pair of stretchy jeans comfort is on the top of my list.  I will always be a Diva…just a little fluffier than usual.  Oh…back to The Girl…she wants to lose 15 pounds because she is sooooo fat right now.  She tells me…I’m willing to eat healthier (she has no choice…I’m buying the food) and she wants to do Taebo.  At night. Before she goes to bed…so she can sleep.  I tried to tell her that she will probably have more energy and not sleep because of the exercise.  I’m different…I get relaxed after a good workout but most people have mad amounts of energy.  She started the workout…20 minutes in she comes out, takes my water, and says Billy is an A-Hole.  I was stunned.  I still have it…after 11 years I can still kick ass with my workouts.  Not bad for an old woman.   
I will be back later.  I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder.  I’m on medication that causes weight gain.  I want to prove that it doesn’t just make you fat…with a controlled diet and exercise plan you can feel better and still rock it body wise…

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: