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Monthly Archives: July 2007

Speaking of Diets…

🙂
This was posted on the Diet Pulpit…from Joke.com. I LOVE cats…and this reminds me of Tequila…Surfer Cat Extraordinaire!
I couldn’t stop laughing:

Cat Miracle Diet

Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting, well, now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet!

Except for cats that eat like people — such as getting lots of table scraps — most cats are long and lean (or tiny and petite). The Cat Miracle Diet will help you achieve the same lean, svelte figure. Just follow this diet for one week and you’ll find that you not only look and feel better, but you will have a whole new outlook on what constitutes food. Good Luck!

DAY ONE

Breakfast: Open can of expensive gourmet cat food. Any flavor as long as it cost more the .75 per can — and place 1/4 cup on your plate. Eat 1 bite of food; look around room disdainfully. Knock the rest on the floor. Stare at the wall for awhile before stalking off into the other room.

Lunch: Four blades of grass and one lizard tail. Throw it back up on the cleanest carpet in your house.

Dinner: Catch a moth and play with it until it is almost dead. Eat one wing. Leave the rest to die.

Bedtime snack: Steal one green bean from your spouse’s or partner’s plate. Bat it around the floor until it goes under the refrigerator. Steal one small piece of chicken and eat half of it. Leave the other half on the sofa. Throw out the remaining gourmet cat food from the can you opened this morning.

DAY TWO

Breakfast: Picking up the remaining chicken bite from the sofa. Knock it onto the carpet and bat it under the television set. Chew on the corner of the newspaper as your spouse/partner tries to read it.

Lunch: Break into the fresh French bread that you bought as your part of the dinner party on Saturday. Lick the top of it all over. Take one bite out of the middle of the loaf.

Afternoon snack: Catch a large beetle and bring it into the house. Play toss and catch with it until it is mushy and half dead. Allow it to escape under the bed.

Dinner: Open a fresh can of dark-colored gourmet cat food — tuna or beef works well. Eat it voraciously. Walk from your kitchen to the edge of the living room rug. Promptly throw up on the rug. Step into it as you leave. Track footprints across the entire room.

DAY THREE

Breakfast: Drink part of the milk from your spouse’s or partner’s cereal bowl when no one is looking. Splatter part of it on the closest polished aluminum appliance you can find.

Lunch: Catch a small bird and bring it into the house. Play with on top of your down filled comforter. Make sure the bird is seriously injured but not dead before you abandon it for someone else to have to deal with.

Dinner: Beg and cry until you are given some ice cream or milk in a bowl of your own. Take three licks/laps and then turn the bowl over on the floor.

FINAL DAY

Breakfast: Eat 6 bugs, any type, being sure to leave a collection of legs, wings, antennae on the bathroom floor. Drink lots of water. Throw the bugs and all of the water up on your spouse’s or partner’s pillow.

Lunch: Remove the chicken skin from last night’s chicken-to-go leftovers your spouse or partner placed in the trash can. Drag the skin across the floor several times. Chew it in a corner and then abandon.

Dinner: Open another can of expensive gourmet cat food. Select a flavor that is especially runny, like Chicken and Giblets in Gravy. Lick off all the gravy and leave the actual meat to dry and get hard.

I have a workout and some bugs to catch…
Later!

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An Oldie…

…and definitely a goodie.  I was going to do the Ultimate Taebo workout but as I was going through my DVDs I noticed my yellow original Taebo DVD.   I was lucky enough to scoop up the Original Taebo (all 4 workouts) when they released it on DVD format.  It is no longer in print…so if you are looking to get the originals you may be able to find the ones on VHS.  ANYWAY…I saw the old yellow and red DVD and thought Why Not??  I have an hour to kill while the clothes are drying.  Did the Advanced Workout…I AM PROUD!!  I got through the entire thing…double time moves and all.  I was brought back in time to when I first purchased the Taebo tapes and thought I would never be able to complete the Advanced workout.  This workout is the bomb!  It also has the best floor workout at the end.  Slow controlled moves that you really feel.  Keeping form is no problem because of the speed.  My butt, legs, and abs are feeling tight and thoroughly worked.  My son is funny…he heard the cheesy Sonic the Hedgehog music and came into the room.  Ma!  That is an OLD one… I remember you doing that one all the time!   🙂  When they were younger they would run around the room while I was sweating bricks doing this workout.  They actually helped me because I would have to kick higher to avoid kicking them.  Things are a little different but they all (the kids and the pets) sit in the room to keep me company while I am Taeboing my butt off…literally.   Great workout!!  I cannot say enough how good Taebo is at working you to a sweat.  I have seen other workouts come and go and I have actually tried other ones (I have a bookcase full of other workouts gathering dust…I think a trip to the video store is in order.  I think I will sell them all) but I have always seen results working with Billy and his crew.  There is no substitute for me…
I made the kids their fish and chips.  Well…fried fish and some homemade mac and cheese.  I did the New Orleans version of fish and chips.  A recipe that my Momma does…the best one in the world.  The Mac and Cheese was last minute when I realized there wasn’t a potato in the house.  They loved it and were singing songs about how great the food was…makes me smile every time.  I had my naked shrimp with some sauteed green beans and almonds.  Yum!  Now I am drinking water like a camel because of the hard workout I did.  I will sleep good tonight.
I have some things that need to get done and I also have to wash my hair.  I don’t want to go to work looking like I have a rat’s nest on my head.  🙂  I look scary…but that just means I am getting in a good sweat.  I am seriously thinking about cutting my hair short.  Just thinking.  I had short hair before and I know what a pain in the ass it is to grow out.  I shall see…
I hope everyone had a great weekend.

By ANY Means Necessary…

…I used to be that way with weight loss.  I would lose this weight anyway that I can…damned being healthy I just wanted to be skinny.  Cutting down calories as low as I could (blacking out?? weak?? No worries I was getting skinny) , taking laxatives (I was getting the hated food out) and throwing up.  I went through the not eating stage and called it fasting…I would exercise three four times a day doing two or three workout videos at a time.  Hell…I even walked for 5 miles as a warm-up before the 75 minute video sessions that I would do…seven days a week mind you.  I took weight loss pills…by any means necessary I would take the weight off and I would be skinny!!  Or would I??  As you can see this type of behavior didn’t work too well.  I was still overweight…now I was overweight, hungry, dizzy, and as a added plus waking up in the middle of the night with my heart racing.  I would literally have to jump out of bed…deep breathe and walk slowly with my arms raised above my head.  That was healthy…right??  But why wasn’t I skinny??
The only thing I was losing was my hair and my health.  I did lose the weight at first but I didn’t see myself as skinny and it was way too much work for me to continue on like that.  I was always miserable, hungry, tired, sick.  One day I just decided to say “Feck It!!  I’m gonna eat whatever I want and forget exercise!!”  That happened when I was in Germany and of course everyone saw the results.  I was starving myself…so I guess the binge eating was just a natural ending to the destructive path I was on.
I am glad that I found the Atkins book in the Bargain bin.  I was strolling through the PX and the book caught my eye…I read it from cover to cover.  I followed the diet and tweaked it to suit me…the difference this time was …I ATE!  I am never hungry and I feed myself.  I am healthy for the first time in my adult life.  No need for the extremes at all.
I am writing this because I have to stress this…eating is something that is necessary for weight loss.  Cutting back your calories to the bare minimum is not healthy.  Your body will go into starvation mode.  It will hang onto the weight like crazy and you will be miserable in the long run.   Going under 1000 calories a day is not good and going under 500 calories a day is setting yourself up for failure.  You may lose the weight at first…then you will stall…and then the binging will start.  Your body is smart…and it will do whatever it can to keep itself going.  I’m rambling…I know.  My mind is spinning because I can see the destructive behaviors out there…and the only thing I want to scream is…IS IT WORTH DYING FOR??  Look at your body like a car…a car will not go without fuel.  You can pimp it up…you can do all sorts of things to the outside to make it look good…but without fuel or a good engine it is useless.  A huge pimped out paperweight that will rot out over time.  I chose low carb because of my thyroid issues and my issues with starches.  I actually feel better on a high protein/low carb/moderate fat diet.  I do not count calories or fat grams.  It works for me.  That is how I loss my excess weight.  It may not be for everyone…but it is my personal magic bullet.
🙂
I return with a ranty post and I am sorry.  I just wish folks would realize that there is no one size fits all approach to weight loss.  If that was the case then we would all be thin. The magic bullet is within you…it just takes time to find it and to get to where you want to be.  No one gains 40/50/60 pounds overnight and it will not come off overnight.
I will return with another Billy post…I have been working out with him.  I just got caught up with life and reading a couple of sites in the low carb world.   Drama is everywhere…I can’t wait for things to get back to normal.
Later!

:(

…I’m starting off a little late with my workout.  I am making my naked fried chicken and being the intellectual that I am…I am preparing it in my workout clothes.  I am the Mia Hamm of Taebo…sports bra and workout pants.  Well…it is NOT recommended that you fry chicken in a sports bra.  I just burned the heck outta myself dropping the chicken into the fryer.
Yep…I am K.A.T. smart!  Now I don’t even want any of it.  I am actually mad at the chicken…
Just gonna do a short workout and then see if I sustained any 3rd degree burns in the process of making myself something to eat.  Sigh… sometimes I wonder where in the heck my mind is wandering to…
Later!

Busy Day…

…but still got in my time with Billy.  If you would have asked me a year ago if I would be exercising at 8 at night I would have laughed.  I would have been watching television and eating chips.  Or maybe some M&Ms.  🙂  Kicking butt and taking names!  I think I am able to work out so late because I am focusing on sculpting along with a little cardio.  The Amped system is the most comprehensive workout that I have ever done.  I feel great after the workouts and sleep so much better these days.  I was gonna workout with my Wondertwin today but he had to work later than usual.  He is doing so good with his exercise…yesterday he went ahead and worked out on his own.  Lou is kicking butt with Billy as well.  Go Lou!
I decided to take a day off of work today to get many many things done.  I FINALLY got my daughter enrolled in school.  Lucky for me I did decide to take time off because there was no way that I could have done all of this on my lunch hour.  It is almost time for school to start again and like any tired parent…I can’t wait!!  It doesn’t matter how old your children are…there is a point when all you want is for them to be back in school.  I am so ready for that.  They have relaxed long enough! 
I was even able to get two work orders for the house done…now I have three more to get done.  I actually crossed off things to do on my list.  That is a first.  Really considering getting on a alternate work schedule just so I can have a day off during the week.  It makes a difference to have a day to take care of pressing things like broken toilets, school registration, laundry that is piling up, and getting a little extra sleep.  Mmmm…sleep!  Something I will be able to do once my husband is back home to help me with various chores and appointments. 
I have a couple of things to do before bed…just logging in a workout and a perfectly clean low carb day.  This is getting easier and easier to do.  I guess I finally picked up a habit that is actually good for me! 
Later!

Dear Lord!

I am doing some major cleaning in this house (literally on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor) and I came across what I thought was a Black Widow spider.  I have a extreme fear of spiders (something I must get over since I live in the desert of Arizona) and at first I froze.  I then realized that Black Widow is a very bad thing for the kids and the pets.  I took a shoe and slammed it…the only problem is I am not sure if I killed it or not.  There was no way that I missed it…but I cannot find evidence of a body anywhere.  First thing tomorrow morning I am calling the exterminators on post and I will demand that they spray the house.  When I see the “Death On A Stick Red Butt Spider” in my house they need to come here STAT!  My daughter caught a glimpse of the damned thing and she is trying to calm down my freak out by saying that it’s legs weren’t long enough to be a Black Widow.  I don’t care…It was black…it had a red butt…it was a spider…that is enough for me.  It is amazing here…almost like living in Australia…there are critters that can cause DEATH to you all over the place.  If I find a Brown Recluse I will just move.  Death House!
Anyway it looks like I will be staying home tomorrow for the spraying because they WILL be coming tomorrow.  NO is not an answer that I will be hearing from these people.  I will try to get in a workout with Billy today but I do have to finish this first.  I am like Lady MacBeth in here…OUT OUT DAMNED SPOT!!
Later!

Grr/Rant…

I am really getting irritated with all the SPAM that my blog has been receiving from porn sites.  Anyone else having this problem??  I am using wordpress…and I am getting to the point where I am about to cancel this and get my own domain.  I mean the sites that are coming up…for lack of a better word…are just downright NASTY.  I am checking my blog name and everything else to make sure I am not listed on some random porn link list.  That has happened before to me years ago…not only was I disgusted but my feelings were hurt because someone added me to the “fat military housewife” list.  The SPAM was unbelievable.  I am glad that I have the blocker turned on or my three readers would think I was some kind of freak.  I am just irritated because my blog IS NOT a sex blog…the only thing I write about is weight loss, family, and sometimes the Army Life.  So why all this crap clogging up my comments??  I think I will submit a help ticket to WordPress and ask them if they have any idea why this is happening…I actually like the service that I am getting.  I just hate having to go everyday and delete all this nasty shit.

SNATT??

Slightly Nauseous All The Time??
Now why in the heck would ANYONE in their right mind want to achieve that feeling?? And why would you want to purchase a shirt with saying on it?? Just makes no sense to me. It is also making me rethink trying to get reinstated back on the Kimkins web site. The more I look at the plans (as written with no personal tweaks) I see that they are plans that I cannot realistically follow. When I was a teenager I struggled with an eating disorder. I did the trifecta…Bulimia/Laxatives/No Eating and… SNATT is the way I felt constantly. Miserable all the time in the name of trying to achieve the ’80’s ultra thin look. It took years readjust my thinking and stop the destructive behavior. Granted I traded one disorder for another…binge eating and gaining a great deal of weight (funny I achieved SNATT at that time as well). I am finally in a place where I feel healthy and honestly will do anything to avoid feeling like I want to pitch my guts constantly. Fast weight loss is intoxicating…but it never lasts. You could say I lost weight fast doing Atkins but in reality it is slow going. My results are from adding exercise to the plan (and I do that 5-6 days a week) to not have the extreme deflated balloon look. I don’t know…it was alarming to find out what SNATT meant. I don’t think I ever want to be in that place again. What is the point of losing weight but feeling miserable and unhealthy all the time. No one can convince me that feeling nauseous all the time is a good thing. That just brings me back to terrible place…and I don’t think I would advertise the feeling either.
That being said…any diet will work if you stick to it.  Follow it correctly and listen to your body and go from there. Nausea is often times a red flag…an SOS being sent out that something just isn’t right. If you decide to follow Kimkins then please LISTEN to what your body is telling you. Tweak it to NOT feel sick. Trust me…your body is smarter than you think.

Oh Yes…

…there was some SERIOUS on my face tonight. There was a rain storm this evening and the DirectTv went out so I put in a Amped workout. I thought it was one of the intermediate workouts that I was doing. Noooooooooo…It was the Advanced Level Full Throttle Amped. I have been having problems getting through the entire workout because there are additional sets. Tonight I succeeded in getting through the routine. My butt was whupped but I got through the entire workout feeling strong. It is little things like increased strength that makes me happy I am sticking to my lifestyle. I was drenched in sweat by the end of the routine. I also had no appetite so the meal that I had planned for myself will be a great breakfast tomorrow morning. I will be up early to do the 90 minute Ultimate Taebo and then I will be waxing the floor.  A busy weekend is ahead…

Um…

What the Heck?? I am getting myself ready for a short visit with Billy. I wanted to get a couple of Kimmer recipes (to use with my convection oven) so I went to her site. I paid for the access…and now they have no record of my email address or my username and password. I don’t know if I have been deleted from the site or what. It sucks because I paid to be there…I certainly do not see a refund in my account. Sigh…
I think the diet works. But to not be able to have access to the site (and this is after she raised the prices…I got access when it was only 39.95) makes me feel disappointed. If it was free I wouldn’t care in the least. That 40.00 could have been used elsewhere. Oh well. It is just upsetting since I have said nothing but good things about her diet…never a negative comment has ever been uttered or written by me.
Sigh. I won’t repay to get back on…but I will not say anything about Kimkins after this…just follow the plan that you feel works best for you. The diet was a bit low in calories for me anyway. I think I will just stick with my 1.99 copy of Atkins and continue on…
I’m still disappointed…

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