Busy, Busy…

I have been really busy this week,,,unfortunately my workouts have suffered. It is really bad when Baby Brother notices that we haven’t sweat in a minute. I am happy that he noticed because that means he is READY!! I think I lost my motivation there for a second…got lazy. This week will be different. I just needed someone other than myself to notice that I have been a lazy ass for the past week. 🙂
The past week…I am glad it is over. I got a call from a place that I have been wanting to work at since I came back to the States from Germany. Yes…the Housing Office called me in for an interview!! I should be stoked…happy…joyous…BUT (and there is always a BUT) the job that they are offering me is a TEMPORARY position. It will not exceed a year. That is what the announcement said…and of course at the interview I was reassured that I would be placed into a permanent position before the assignment ends. All I got was assurances and promises…but the only thing that I can focus on is the fact that it is TEMPORARY. The interviewer liked me…I rocked the meeting. I knew that I would since I know this job forwards and backwards. It is perfect…within walking distance from home, two grades up from my current position, and it is the job that I have been wanting for almost two years. But it is TEMPORARY. I can’t risk it. So I can’t take the job. I would be voluntarily giving up my status with the Government as a permanent employee…I would lose a lot if they decided that I wasn’t working out, they ran out of money, they close down the office, blah blah blah. Pretty much I would look at a person like myself giving up a career conditional position for a temporary position as needing to take medication. Because I would say that they are out of their minds. I do take gambles…I am following a way of eating that is mostly frowned upon by the medical community…I am working on a relationship that most women would have said “Feck IT!!” I want a divorce!!…I went back to school at 32 ( a time when most people would say Why Bother)…I am a Military Wife (Enough said…sometimes you have to grow balls of steel to deal with this lifestyle)…I decided in mid 30’s to start getting tattoos and piercings (more on that comedy later)…BUT after almost 6 years with the Government working as a permanent employee, to take the risk that I will not have a job after a year is too great. I don’t care if the woman does a jig while promising me the moon and stars. The promises are NOT in writing…therefore I am looking at everything that she is saying as bullshit. I did let her know (after an hour of dog and pony shows on her part…pure recruiter speak) that they are asking a bit much out of me. I told her that I had to think on this…and that basically I wanted the opportunity to talk to them and let them know that there is a qualified person out there willing to work…but as a permanent employee. After the interview I ate and ate and ate…all the wrong stuff for my body. That tells me this is bothering me more than I knew.
Sigh…
Now…on to the piercing. Heh heh…yep…I got the belly button pierced. I finally got what I have been wanting for almost 21 years. I know why I waited 21 years to get this done…It HURTS!! I would rather get my whole body tattooed before I do that again. I never thought that I could feel a pain that was greater than childbirth. Piercing your belly button is right up there. They told me that I would feel a “pinch”. I don’t recall a pinch feeling like this…white hot pain of Super Nova-ing thousand Suns. I’m serious…I even asked the piercer how in the hell can he get the various parts of his body pierced like he has…he told me that you get used it it. Getting used to being stabbed does not sound doable to me. I have my belly button pierced…I can’t do anything about it now, but NO ONE will come near me with a needle (unless they need blood) again. I did the piercing because my stomach is the bane of my existence. I wanted to do something that would motivate me to keep it flat…and to pretty it up some. I have the loose skin from the massive weight loss and I will never wear a mid drift in public, but it is nice to look at my belly and see something pretty there. I have not focused on the wrinkled skin the past couple of days…just the pretty jewelery and the fact that this hurts like a bitch!! 🙂 Besides…getting a piercing is far cheaper and less painful than getting a tummy tuck.
So…I am done. I have gotten everything that I have been wanting to get done. I feel free…like I am flying…I don’t believe this is a midlife crisis (like most people think) or the fact that I finally snapped due to finding out about my husband’s infidelity (Although most women in my position would be in a stabbing mood. Being a Army wife has helped me be able to deal with a hell of a lot of crap. This is really nothing compared to what I have had to deal with over the years) . I see this is a way for me to cut all the ties that I put on myself to be the perfect Military wife and perfect Mommy. I finally did something that I wanted to do…and dammit that feels good. 🙂
Now…I am going back to the fitness thing…I have rested and bullshitted enough. I am so close to my goal I can actually see myself there, I just need to STOP THE SABOTAGE. Billy is still my main man, I cannot thank him enough for his spirit and his workouts. I don’t think I would be where I am now without Taebo. There will be some additional routines added to my daily plan. I am going to add weights (for real) to tone and incorporate more crunches into my exercise. I will stay low carb (why fix something that ain’t broke), drink tons of water and take my vitamins. I am glad that Lou mentioned that we haven’t done anything in a week…it was like someone threw cold water in me and woke me up from the coma that I was slowly slipping into.
The house is a mess…I need to get some chores done, but I WILL WORKOUT today. I can afford an hour of me time.

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