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Monthly Archives: December 2006

Wrapping

I used to hold the distinct position of being the wrapper. I don’t know how I got that duty (I believe it was that one Christmas my Mom gave me some wrapping paper, some tape, and a pair of scissors and told me to Wrap This!) but it has stuck with me for more than 20 years. This year I actually have some things that I want to wrap…but I have no carpeting on my floor (everyone knows that wrapping is done on the floor…right??) and I HATE being cold. SO…I decided that I would give the honor to The Girl. I asked her first “Can you wrap presents?” The child assured me that she could…that she is the champion of wrapping gifts. I was relieved because after doing the honors for 2 decades I was HAPPY to pass the torch. Yea!
So I go to work with the happy knowledge that all of the presents will be wrapped and I will see this wonderful tree with presents underneath. Imagine my surprise when i come home and discover that there are only 2 presents wrapped and there is no more paper left. The presents both look like giant pieces of hard candy…excess paper is hanging from the ends (THAT IS A PET PEEVE FOR ME) and although it looks nice the gifts were not that big where an entire roll of paper should have been used. I asked the girl what happened…she tells me that they were a funny shape. A funny shape?? Okay…
Square is a funny shape. Now I have to go out and get more paper to wrap the other square shaped packages …I guess I keep the torch for another year. 😀

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Unbelievable!!


Never thought this day would come…at the nail shop with The Girl…

I was stunned…but there they were and she asked for this….

FINALLY…NAILS!! We told her that she couldn’t bite these or they would kill her. The guy who did them told her to “LEAVE HER NAILS ALONE!!”
My Little Girl is growing up!!

So is My Son…he had the typical man stuck in a nail shop look. I think he was trying to blend into the sofa. He was also hungry…
That led us to Pizza Hut where they sat us at the usual place…next to the kitchen and the register. I swear we have a sign on us that says “Kitchen Folks”!

By the kitchen entrance, beer kegs and registers…the wait was a little long so…

The Girl kept herself busy IMing friends and wasting her prepaid minutes. I am NOT buying more!!

…and the Boy drew pictures of the Saints Fleur de Lis (he is a MAJOR SAINTS FAN) on all of the napkins…

The Girl wanted to take a picture with my hand…now we both have add-a-caps.
We finished up the evening eating some good food…singing Weird Al Yankovich songs (“White and Nerdy KILLS me!!) , The Boy flirted with the teen-aged waitress, and decided that we were tired and went home. Never quite made it to Target…but we still had fun and a little time left before the big day.
I decided to take the night off from Taebo…I am not feeling well, it is cold outside and in this house…I need a break. The kids are trying to figure out where the cold is coming from in this house…I am about to hit the sack and prepare for yet another exciting day.
Tomorrow the dog is getting neutered…I wonder how that will work out??
Sigh…they are both growing so fast and time is moving so quickly. I hope I don’t miss anything…
EDITED TO ADD…OMG! The Girl just came in and asked if she could come with me to get a pedicure and her eyebows waxed…she told me that they are starting to “hold hands”. LOL!! I swear they keep me young!!

Cleaning…

I decided that I would clean out the closet.  I have no room to put my stuff anymore so it was out of necessity.  It is amazing that I fixed my mouth to say that I had nothing to wear.  I still have stuff to go through and the pile that I have is steadily growing.  It is hard doing this because I have some things that I know I don’t wear anymore but I don’t want to part with…really pack ratting stuff.  So what I am doing is going through the clothes in waves…I look at it and think have I worn this in the past month??  If I say no…immediately I pull it and toss it.  Harder to do than I thought because I start saying…welll…maybe I will wear it again.  Sigh…I need a twelve step program for this.
Gonna be doing Taebo again tonight…I took two days off and I know if I take another day I will not do it for the rest of the month.  Good thing I took some time…I am not sore and cranky today.  The kids are happy about that and so are the pets.
I am off to go through the clothes again.  My sister in law is pregnant and I hope she will take some of the larger sizes to use instead of me tossing them.  Some of this stuff still has price tags on them…Sigh.

Sheez….

Okay…okay, okay, okay, okay! Christmas shopping is a pain in the ass. Just sayin’….
AND….
Does the color of the damned jersey really make that much of a difference?? I mean the child has NO JERSEY as of this moment. This is when I WISH Santa existed…where is that fat bastard…I wanna talk to him!!
Dayum!
ONE MORE THING…what crack is my child smoking to make him think that I am going to pay 289.00 on a pair of fecking shoes?? Where the hell is the Excedrin??
PLUS…
WHAT THE HELL AM I GETTING FOR CHRISTMAS BESIDES THE BILL??
***grumble grumble grumble***

What's For Breakfast??

…because I am starving!! That usually means that I am on my way to dropping a few more pounds. I guess that is good…but when you are starving like I am the only thing that is on your mind is filling the hole in your stomach. 🙂
I hate when I get this way…I don’t want regular breakfast type foods. I want a half chicken and some steamed veggies. Thank God for SteamFresh vegetables and the Deli in the store (they sell half chickens) because nothing else will make me happy.
I did have my Taebo therapy last night. It was a good workout, BUT it was almost interrupted by my Sister in Law who always seems to call me when I cannot talk to her. I was 30 minutes into the workout, doing roundhouse kicks when my daughter comes with the phone saying that her Aunt wanted to talk to me. Taebo was blaring in the background (I’m sure that she heard it), I’m DRIPPING SWEAT (achieved the sweat rolling down my face…no sweaty crotches yet) and breathing heavily…I told my daughter NO. I am used to stopping what I am doing just to make others happy. This time I discovered the power of NO and I stuck to it. At my age if I just abruptly stopped doing high intensity cardio to doing nothing I would hurt myself. My muscles would literally draw up because I didn’t stretch properly. The other reason I said NO is I knew that if I had stopped the Taebo, my sister in law would have asked me “What are you doing?” That would have pissed me off especially since I have the TV LOUD, cheesy Taebo music is playing, Billy Blanks is yelling at the screen, the tell-tale “HIYAH” was being shouted…seriously Folks I wouldn’t have been responsible for what I would have told her and it would have definitely hurt her feelings. Not that it would have bothered me in the least…but I really do not feel like getting into a pissing contest with the in-laws.
I am off to get my meal…and get some work done. More Taebo therapy will be done tonight…

Such a Chickenshit…with a heart condition!

Okay…since it is Christmas time and the Little Pug has a personality I decided to give him one last chance.  That chance comes with a price for him though…a neutering.  I was told by the Animal Shelter and the Vet that if I neuter him there is a chance that he will stop marking everything.  The appointment is set for 21 Dec @ 0700.  I also got him some of those housebreaking pants.  Yes…the damned dog is wearing pants.  I wanted to get him the frilly pants so he could be made fun of by the other male creatures in the neighborhood…but I figured the pants was enough. Most dogs do not like to pee on themselves, they will gladly pee on everything else but not themselves.  I have this pad on him and it will essentially cause him to pee on himself if he decides to mark or wet in the house.  Kinda like the principle of a wet diaper.  I hope this works because the pug is living on borrowed time.  Sigh…
Oh yeah…I almost wrecked the SUV again today.  The Girl decided that the right time to tell me that she kissed a guy was when I was turning a corner.  I literally went weak…my heart dropped and I swear I almost fainted.  Sigh…
So…I smelled like dog piss all day, flirted with kicking the dog off a mountain, decided to get his nuts cut instead, and my daughter encountered her first kiss (which sparked the YOU HAVE A PERIOD SO YOU CAN GET PREGNANT speech, then the END OF TEENAGE FUN FOREVER IF YOU GET PREGNANT speech, then the STDS ARE NOT COOL speech, and finally SEX…DON’T DO IT speech), spent a shit load of money on the items needed to de-mark the house and to cover the dog’s male anatomy (causing the second heart attack of the day) AND found out that I had to do a personnel action to fire a child that I helped get a job at the store today.  By the end of all of this I was beat…still haven’t gone to Target to exchange some pants for my husband who is convinced that at the ripe age of 40 he has grown 2 inches thus needing pants with a 32 inch inseam instead of a 30 inch inseam.  I still have to Christmas shop…OY!
I think I need some Taebo therapy…

Gotta Do It…

I feel terrible…BUT I have to give away Tiko D Pug.  Yes I know that I spent a lot of money on him.  His marking and peeing in the house is out of control.  The kids are no longer taking any interest in him…I cannot take care of everything.  My house is starting to smell like a kennel.  The last straw is the fact that it is either my coat or my blouse that smells like dog pee.  I believe he marked a basket that I had my clean clothes in…the pee dried and I hung it up.  Over the course of the day the odor of dog pee has gotten stronger and stronger…I cannot take this anymore.
Sigh…I feel terrible, but the dog has got to go.

Eek…

Been an eventful week for me.  I have been keeping up with the Taebo…how could I NOT when someone asked me if I was down to 130 in weight??  AWESOME!!  I went to the store and scooped up Billy’s Favorite Moves (a new DVD from the Bootcamp Elite Series).  There is no band use in this 45 minute video…I would say that it is more for intermediate exercisers than advanced Taebo users.  Surprisingly Billy knows how to count in this DVD so everything is pretty much equal.  There are no sweaty crotches in this workout…just EXTREMELY HAPPY SMILING PEOPLE.  I don’t know what is worse…the sweat stained workout clothes (It escapes me why those women don’t just wear black pants if they know that they sweat that much down there) or the BIG HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY smiles that are on their faces.  Reminded me of the Ren and Stimpy episode where Stimpy created a helmut that would make Ren happy…no matter what.  🙂  I’m sorry, BUT I am never that godddamned happy to exercise…EVER.  Made me think that they all got a dose of electric shock therapy or some Vitamin P (Prozac) right before the workout.  If you can get past all the happiness and joy then this is a good balanced workout.  One more thing…if you want a good Ab workout…see if you can find the old Taebo Focus Series Abas and Glutes. OMG!!  I am still feeling the workout from last night…it works everything that it sets out to work. 
Moving on…got into an accident in the PX parking lot.  I say that it was his fault…he says that it was my fault.  Whatever…neither one of us saw the other and since we both have the same insurance agency…that will make the claim a little easier.  If I don’t have to deal with those people at all I would be happy.  My daughter also decided that the day of the accident would be the say that she announces that she has a boyfriend.  A what?? It is a boyfriend in title only because there will be no dates, phone calls, meetings…she is still too young to date.  She doesnt have the sense to take the dog for a walk before he pisses everywhere…she defintely doesnt have the sense to deal with a boyfriend.  Sigh…
My eating has been on track lately and I am really looking forward to see if I will eventually reach the goal that I am aiming for.  I have never been on a way of eating for this long without cheating.  I am looking forward to seeing the results…

Whew…

…after rolling over the hated Bootcamp II workout with the Saturn I decided to through in the Best of Taebo Abs DVD. I got through it (after starting and stopping three times to referee a fight between my teens…that is a workout in itself) I have decided that I actually like the “kickboxing” Taebo better than the Hooah-Hooah Bootcamp series. Just because I am a Military Wife doesn’t mean I want to exercise like I am in the military. I’m perplexed though…still haven’t achieved the sweaty-crotch/soaked bra top look of some of the Taebo girls. I am starting to believe that I am either incapable of sweating like that or Bill cranks up the temperature in the studio. I don’t like to drip sweat like that…especially since I am blind as a bat and wear glasses. If I sweated that way I would be doing squats all day picking up my 400.00 lenses from the floor. Still…it would be interesting to know if I would achieve the abs of steel/10-inch waist look of Shellie (Billy’s adopted daughter) by cranking up the heater while I am kicking and shouting at the television. That experiment lasted all of 15 minutes…I felt like I was exercising on the surface of the Sun. Instead of dripping sweat and having the determined “kick-ass” look on my face, I looked like fish gasping for air. My eyeballs were drying out, my skin felt like it was flaking off, my hair became like straw. I could literally feel myself becoming mummified during the workout. There was no moisture left in my body…no soaked bra top…no sweaty crotch. Hell no!! The windows were opened…I felt oxygen rush back into the room, the kids cried a sigh of relief and the dog and two cats seemed to smile. I should have realized that it was a bit “dry” in here when I noticed the pets camping out by the water bowls. LOL!! I guess I am not at that athletic level yet where you start sweating buckets as soon as you start to move. Sucks to be me I guess… I am not one to sweat like I stole something.
Anyway…I like the kickboxing Taebo better than the toning Taebo. Taebo Bootcamp (the version that uses the bands…not the one that I rolled over with the Saturn…freaking duck walks, My Ass!) and the Taebo Elite is an awesome alternative to going to the Gym. In my home I only have the kids and the pets looking at me with curious wonder and I doubt seriously that Bill will stop in the middle of the set and ask me “So…are you working out??” If that happens then I will just give up the fitness kick and get back on my Peanut M&M, Prozac and Hennesey diet that I followed while I lived in Germany. 🙂 I will definitely feel this workout tomorrow morning and hopefully my 3-pack of abs will eventually become a 6-pack.

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