Yeah…and I don't know what I am talking about…

Last night The boy was quiet.  I didn’t know what to make of it, but he staryed in his bed and in the bathroom, going back and forth, for a long time.  Finally i ask him what is wrong.  My stomach hurts! Normally when the child says that his stomach hurts I figure it is a little stomach virus that he usually gets over in a couple of hours.  So I don’t worry…

This morning I get up to get ready for work and to get my lunch ready.  I wanted to have something sweet so I went looking for my sugar free candy that I keep in a special place away from the kids.  Even though there is SUGAR FREE written on the package and they are 14 and 15…I still keep it from them.  Pretty much to save them from themselves.  I can’t find ANY of my candy.  I know I haven’t eaten it all because of the reaction that I experienced the last time I gourged.  I am confused but I am on a time schedule so I go into the Boy’s room and I find wrappers and bags (empty) strewn all over his floor.  The child is in a ball on the bed and I swear he looks 10 pounds thinner.  Feeling better??   I had to ask…I knew what had happened.  He is looking at me pathetic and pale… “Ma..I don’t think I can go to school today.  My stomach still hurts and I keep pooing.” Now…the child said “pooing”…my Gangsta Thug Son said the actual word poo.  “Did you eat all this candy??” Knowing that he had…if the dog had eaten it then it wouldn’t be me and the dog looking at each other in the morning while I am waiting for him to make.  “Yesss.”  Uh-huh.  I gove him one of the bags and told him to read the front.  I needed to comfirm that the child understood the Englisg language.  He agreed that it was sugar free.  I asked him to read the back… “Contains Malitol.  May have a laxative effect.” Whenever I see that warning I think to myself that she should put this warning : “Contains Malitol…will make you shit like a duck for the next 8 hours.  Will make you feel like dying!”

He looked pathetic…I felt for him.  I just looked at him and told him that reading is always a good thing…and that is what he gets for eating my stuff.  I didn’t let him stay home…I have been in his position before with the sugar free candy.  So I gave him some Immodium and some Mylanta.  I sent him  to school dragging his butt and his pants behind him.  Maybe he won’t get into my stuff anymore… 

I guess I didn’t know what I was talking about when I told him that the candy will make him run to the toilet…damn, I am just Mama…

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3 Comments

  1. lisamechelle says:

    Robin, can you re-send whatever you sent me? I either didn’t receive it or deleted it by accident. I’ve been getting tons of spam lately and I may have gotten carried away. (lisamechelle@excite.com).

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