Complete Rubbish…

…this weekend on my diet that is. I decided that I would eat a goddamned carb and now I am craving them big time. I won’t do that again, especially since I want to get this cool back tattoo of a little kitty and paws. I don’t need the little kitty to grow into a sabertooth tiger and paws. Yep…I am a old bat getting the hip back tattoo. I haven’t gotten it yet, but it is coming. I figure I will do something that will keep me in line weight wise. I have seen back tattoos that have grown with a woman’s girth and they are not cool at all.
I decided to workout today to combat the swelling and the bloating that I was feeling from the carb-fest I had last night. I was able to get through the Taebo, but I am wondering if my age is catching up to me. I used to do two workouts in one day…now I do one and I sound like Rice Krispies all day with the snap crackle and popping of my joints. I am literally trying to work my ass off. But for what> I am proving to myself that I am able to reach MILF status…but that isn’t stopping the gray hairs that are becoming increasingly more noticeably to me. I sometimes sit and think “Fuck It! I want some ice cream!” Then I notice that I feel this way when I am stressing about my age or something else. I don’t know…but the crazy side of me keeps me moving. If I don’t exercise the depression will take over and then I will have to get back on meds. I don’t want that. Fat Zombie Mom is not a good thing to be. I always GAIN massive weight on anti-depressants…the weight gain bothers me…I freak out…they up my dose…I gain more weight. It is a vicious cycle for me. Just like the circle of life…I experience the circle of craziness. I also notice that when I workout I am not worried about anything other than getting in that next breath and focusing on my heart to keep beating. So I ask why?? And I just answered my question. See? Craziness.
My son has his court appearance tomorrow and I am gladly letting the husband take on that drama. I just don’t think I can take looking at my child in court. One of those head in the sand things, but I seriously need a break. It is time for the Father to step in and take some of this constant pressure of having teenagers. Welcome to Parenthood, Dude!
Still being avoided at work about the fulltime issue. I guess I have to go back in there and remind that bi-polar heifer that I was supposed to become fulltime. It is so easy for her to forget to call, but she is being paid her money. I guess it is no big whoop to her. I just wish I could go into her office and yell “I HAVE BILLS, BITCH! EITHER SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT!” But I can’t…so I will be professional and make nice with the Boss. I will be gritting my teeth the whole time though.
Remember back in the day when correcting your children was just correcting your children. I was telling the kids about how it was and they formed their mouths to say that was child abuse. Lucky for me I still live in the past…but who brilliant idea was it to teach the kids that…and show them how to dial 911? That is another reason I don’t want to go tomorrow…I just may be put in jail. Especially if they throw in another fine to pay.
I am watching the first Batman so I am off to jam to the Prince soundtrack. I will be back later…

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