Monthly Archives: December 2005

New Year's Eve…

The last day of the year and I am glad that this one is behind me. I hope everyone has a good New Year’s Eve and start the New Year off right. My hormones are raging right now. Aunt Flo is deciding that she may visit today or tomorrow. My mood is pissy right now. So pissy that I went off on my husband about something that he said. So now I am going to go and clean and calm the hell down. I don’t want to end this year on a bad note. I have worked too hard to let my emotions get the better of me…especially if they are hormone driven emotions.
Things to do:

  1. Clean the house…including the floors.
  2. Get my new dressers upstairs.
  3. Take some Midol so I will be pleasant to be around.
  4. Exercise.
  5. Go to the store and get some chicken wings.
  6. Make nice with the Spouse.
  7. Go to my brother’s house and celebrate the New Year.

Remember what I said earlier about life being moments. I have to let this one pass and not dwell on it. This was one shitty year for me. I know that I can make the next one a different one if I have the right mindset…

I got in my Taebo yesterday. I did an old one Advanced Live Vol 5…one of the old ones from 1999. It is so old that it is only on VHS so that meant I did it upstairs on the bedroom floor. I weighed myself and I didn’t like the numbers so I need to do some cardio as well as weights to lean up. I am in shape…the last time I tried to do this workout I was dying before we even got to the floor work. It consists of 20 minutes of warming up and 30 minutes of ass lifting, leg toning. back muscle using, sweaty workout from Hell. It was wonderful and I made it through. So I think I will do the Taebo again (the old ones) for a minute since I know that they produce fast results. But I will have to work for it…Whew!

I have some work to do…I will be back later.

Exercise = No Bad Feelings…

At least for me…I need to get in some cardio because every now and again I get the Murder- Death- Kill feelings that need to be pushed out of my mind. All it takes is to hear the buzzing of the fucking cell phone to wreck my mood. I should have gone to work and that way I wouldn’t have heard it. I am still human and there are still things that bug me…but I will not let it get to me like I have in the past. Sigh. Need to sweat…
Moving on from the unpleasant stuff…
I really do need to sweat. I have been working with the weights and I have added muscle. So that means I have added weight. The Scale Whore in me is screaming in horror, but the logical side of me is saying…you are wearing some 9/10’s in jeans. SHUT UP Inner Fat Chick! It is just numbers and the scale doesn’t know the difference between muscle and fat. Still…I want to slap the shit out of Inner Fat Chick, because she is reasoning that a cheesecake will make me feel better. I need to slap the fuck out of IFC and make her sit in the corner. She needs a time-out…
So I am going to figure out what cardio I will do…get those endorphins rushing…remove the MDK feelings that I am having towards my Mate and make IFC stop whispering in my ear about fucking cheesecake.
I really thought I would make it out of this year without feeling kinda shaky. This sucks…but the self esteem is still strong! I will be making some SPICY FOODS tonight. Make his asshole burn Baby! ๐Ÿ˜€

So…it will either be Billy Blanks or some smiling spastic Heifer making me sweat. I can say that looking good is working for me….
I’ll be back later with my results. Now I HAVE to do some cardio…

Playing Hooky (but I am really sick)

Decided that I was tired of people asking me if I was sick and why I was at work. I took my 4 hours today to relax and to get that 4 day weekend that I wanted…anyway. I also saw that the Housing Office took my resume for another position that was open there…but it is only temporary and I want something permanent. Oh well…
The Husband is out getting some coffee and a rake. For some reason he wants to rake the leaves from the big Devil Tree that is next to our house. I will let him rake but as soon as he is done there will be another 50 pounds of leaves on the lawn anyway.
I am sitting here drinking my Theraflu and reading my blogs. Thinking about whether or not I want to pursue being a secretary or move on to something else. In the Government…once you are classified as a Secretary it is extremely hard to get out of that series. I would much rather be doing something else other than taking memos and answering phones. There is a lot more that I do as a secretary, but I would rather so something that would actually help people and has a opportunity to move up in the ranks. I will continue to bide my time and see what comes up…
I have to log off for a minute…
Will be back later.

Sniff Sniff…Cough Cough

So I am here at work…smiling and coughing.  Sniffing and pitching my guts every time I eat or smell something.  But I am here…making a paycheck.  I don’t think I will make it the whole day, People.  I haven’t been sick like this since June.  The two other people that work here are sick as well.  I think the Commissary is making all of us ill because we deal with people all day long.

On a better note…I feel better because my boss decided that she would take some time off and I won’t see her until Tuesday.  The one day that I decide that I am not bringing anything to read or anything to do.  Crap…

I am sipping on Theraflu (boy does that lemon stuff taste good…feels good) and drinking double shots of orange juice in an attempt to feel better.  The ladies in the office think that I am the one that is spreading the sickness…NOT!

I am starting to fade away (at work no less) so I will make myself busy getting some things off my desk.  I hope I am better to make a trip to Tucson.  I want to get Hellfire (The Girl) a gift certificate from Hot Topic.  That is the other part of her gift and I know that she will love it…. another benefit of working.  ๐Ÿ˜€





Things That I Love:

  1. I LOVE having a extra paycheck coming in. As much as I don’t want to do to work and as much as I was bitching that extra money is sure nice. I would be looking to take my life if it wasn’t for this job. The bills are all in except one and we are still good. That wouldn’t be the case if I didn’t take this position. So I am going to get ready for work…with a smile!
  2. I love my new spot on the web. The people that I want to read the blog have found me (I am so glad that you checked your messages Tatiana) and now I can be a little free with my posting. I wasn’t sure of my husband was reading the blog, but I know that some of my in-laws were. It just feels good to feel new again. Too much drama on the other blog and I was thinking about changing it anyway. So the domain expiring was a good thing…
  3. I love my kids although they act like their names are Hellfire (The Girl) and Damnation(The Boy) every now and again. They keep me on my toes and keep me young. Although one of the teens is about to lose their life if they don’t soon learn to stop talking when I am TALKING!
  4. I love my new kitty. Tequila has filled the void in my heart and believe it or not he is the friendliest cat in the whole world.
  5. As much as I bitch…I love my Husband. I obviously have to to stick around like I have…I know that it is not just being a glutton for punishment. He is acting like a human again….
  6. I love my new body…I don’t have the extra stomach laying next to me when I lie down on my side…my ass looks good in jeans…’nuff said! ๐Ÿ˜€
  7. I love the fact that I am cooking again. I was really starting to slack off with making dishes. As soon as I started to create in the kitchen again I felt like the cloud in my mind cleared up.
  8. I love being back in the States…I can talk to my Mom and Dad whenever I want and I am close to my brother. I like that I am close to K, his wife…
  9. I love that this YEAR is almost over and I can file this one away as a doozy. I try to look at things as a learning or growth experience. It was challenging and to be honest I can’t wait to see what 2006 brings…
  10. Finally…I LOVE that I decided to grit my teeth and move forward. It was far too easy for me to take my pills and ignore what is going on around me. I am thankful for the strength to soldier forward!

That is my list. I just had to get that out of my system. I talked to my Brother this morning and he made me laugh. Just like we did when we were children. It has been a long time since I had a full on laugh like that and it got me thinking. Life is a series of moments and whether I want to or not I will experience them. And typical of moments…they do pass. So I made it through this year and I feel like I am stronger because of it.

Now…I have to get ready for work or I will be late. The responsibility fairy came by and sprinkled some dust one me…I will email a post from work. Right now I have to doll up and smile for the soldiers.


Why?? A RANT about OPRAH..

Why is it that Oprah Winfrey has her mouth wide open on this month’s cover of her magazine?? Is she hoping that a piece of food flies into her mouth? That is the fakest thing I have every seen. Don’t get me wrong if I was worth billions I would probably smile the open mouth smile…sometimes. But every time I see a picture of that Heifer (or Cow if we are arguing age) her mouth is wide open and I see all her capped teeth. I am really not that interested in seeing the inside of her mouth on every page of her magazine. And another thing…those of you who remember seeing Oprah from the beginning remember what she looked like?? Right. Now think about the way that she looked then and look at her now. Tell me that you believe her when she says that she has had NOTHING done. No plastic surgery. No tucks, lipo, lifts, hair weaves, NOTHING. I say that she is full of shit (just like Star Jones saying that Pilates made her lose all that weight so quickly) and she needs to stop all that lying. She looks like a totally different person and if possible younger than she did when she first came out. If I had her money I would have anything that I want done and wouldn’t give a shit what people thought. Just my opinion…and I can’t tell you why Oprah’s magazine always bother me so much…

I am still feeling a little sick, but the end of the day is near…I will be back…


I really hate when I am at work and the time seems like it will not move forward.  My boss decided to show up today (she was supposed to be off) so I am a little irritated about that.  What is really bothering me??


The children are on vacation and they are just sitting around not doing anything.  Whenever I pick up they do something in the time that it takes for me to go to work and come back…because the house is upset.  So now I want to take off some time so I can clean.  That is pissing me off because I shouldn’t have to do that.  I know that when I get home the house will look the same and they will be in the same place that they were in before I left.  I liked having my house in order.  I will fight this with everything that I have…if it means tossing their stuff outside…I will do that.  They have come downstairs and found all their crap on the lawn.  I figure they don’t want it…


I hate when I am all wool-gathered about these things.  It really seems the day will not move forward and basically every time my boss comes out of her office she irritates me.  I think I will call the kids and see what they are doing.  I can bet that they are either online or sleeping…



The Voice mail has been set up and I hope I am understanding what I am reading. I hate when I am sick and on medication because I am not understanding what I am seeing…it is almost like the words do not make any sense. I will find out when someone calls if it is working.
So I worked out today. Did the Bootcamp and I went to the Gym. I still feel like crap, but not as bad as I did last night. I tried to post via email but I sent it to the wrong address…so I have no idea where my posts went. Someone out there is wondering why in the hell this woman is writing them these paragraphs. Kinda funny when you think about it.
I got the question again at work as to why I am not full time…I still cannot answer that question. I know that I am the only parttime secretary in all of DeCA…so I quess that makes me special. ๐Ÿ˜€
My husband swears to God I am trying to kill him with spices. Something that I made for Christmas (Pasta Jambalaya) has gotten spicier since it has had time to sit. Yep…that is how I am going to get him…by spices. Better than poison any day of the week and he is lucky I didn’t resort to poison when we were in Germany. All the bullshit that I was put through. I still have twinges of murderous anger every now and then but I keep that shit to myself. No need to bring up old shit…because it stinks.
Moving on from that unpleasant shit…
I am waiting for the Nyquil to take effect…I need to get some sleep. I have been tired lately and the 8 plus hours of sleep is feeling really good. I am going to read some of my dailies and I am hitting the sack.

Oh Yeah….

I ordered the voice mail service because we use dial up here (no snickering…I live in the freaking mountains) and it is supposed to be set up and I am supposed to be getting my messages. I just tried to call the house and I am getting a freaking busy signal. I am going to cancel their Mickey Mouse shit and get my old voice mail back.

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